Funny Jokes

A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of himself on the blackboard.

Fuming, he asked the class joker in the front row, “Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?”

The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply, “I really don’t know, but I strongly suspect its parents.”

The first set of free funny Yo Mamas….. stupid jokes.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she bought a video tape on how to fix your VCR

Yo mama’s so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was ma-kin’ a booty call.

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door with a peep hole

Yo mama is so stupid, she traded in her car for gas money.

Yo mama is so stupid that she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama’s so stupid that she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.

Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order

Redneck Jokes 301-400

Other Redneck Jokes
Redneck Jokes 1 to 100
Redneck Jokes 101 to 200
Redneck Jokes 201 to 300
Redneck Jokes 301 to 400
Redneck Jokes 401 to 500
Redneck Jokes 501 to 600
Redneck Jokes 601 to 700
Redneck Jokes 701 to 800
Redneck Jokes 801 to 900

Redneck Joke 301
You might be a redneck if you have to mow the hoods of your cars.

Redneck Joke 302
You might be a redneck if you have to steal your neighbor’s paper to see what the date is or you are out of toilet paper.

Redneck Joke 303
You might be a redneck if you have to take out a loan to pay off the tire store.

A couple were driving to a church to get married. On the way, they got into a car accident and died. When they arrive in heaven, they see St. Peter at the gate. They ask him if he could arrange it so they could marry in heaven.
St. Peter tells them that he’ll do his best to work on it for them.

Three months pass by and the couple hear nothing. They bump into St. Peter and ask him about the marriage.

He says, “I’m still working on it.”

Two years pass by and no marriage.

St. Peter again assures them that he’s working on it.

A whole bunch of “you might be an redneck” jokes

You might be a redneck if you don’t get these redneck jokes

You might be a redneck if you think “wind sprints” means running from a fart.

You might be an redneck if the last thing you say is “Hey! Watch this…”

You might be a redneck if your baby’s first words were, “Attention, K-mart shoppers.”

You know you married a redneck when she fills out her family reunion name tag, “Four for a Dollar.”

You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She walked around to look at the artwork.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, “Im drawing God.”

The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

My wife was shopping at laredoute.co.uk and under the t-shirt section she came across a little bug.

On this page

laredoute.co.uk/clothing/Short-sleeved-T-shirts.aspx?CategoryId=17512698&&&Path=17512698%2f17513229%2f17513242&ChmCatId=17513242&Selected=5

there’s a top “LE COQ SPORTIF 2 in 1 T-shirt” advertised at £47.96.

When you hover over the image a pop up window appears with further information, sometimes (you have to keep moving on and off the main image) it shows the information in the image below-

I’ve heard about inflation, but that’s ridiculous for a so called 15% discount

Looks like there’s a bug in their shopping cart software.

A smart blonde, a stupid blonde and Santa Claus play poker, who wins?

The stupid blonde because the other two don't exist.

Shopping for a black cotton sweater, I couldn’t find anything suitable in a trendy Berkeley clothing store. A helpful saleswoman offered to check the store catalogue for a suitable black sweater.

After flipping through the pages, she looked up in consternation. “Mark,” she called to her co-worker, “what are we calling black this year?”

Please don’t make black racist comments on this joke, there’s a racist black jokes page at: Black Jokes One Liners

A brunette is walking through the country, when she finds a bottle. She rubs it and, you guessed it, a genie appears.

The genie says, “You are allowed three wishes. But, I must warn you, anything you get, all the blondes in the world get twice as much.”

The woman says, “Okay. Give me a nice house.”

The genie replies, “You now have one nice house and all the blondes in the world have two.”

The the lady says, “Give me a gorgeous man.”

The genie replies, “You now have one gorgeous man, while all the blondes have two.”

The lady says, “For my last wish, Genie, see that stick over there? Beat me half to death with it.”

As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.

Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.

In a last act of desperation he shouts after the fire engine, “If that’s the way you want it, you can keep your bloody ice creams!”

A Policeman pulled a car over and asked the man driving why he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone?

“I was only going 40!” the driver protested.

“Not according to my radar,” the police officer replied.

“Yes, I was!” the man shouted back in anger.

“No you weren’t!” the policeman said, starting to get annoyed. With that, the man’s wife leaned toward the window and said,

“Officer, I should warn you not to argue with my husband when he’s been drinking.”