Funny Jokes

The first set of free funny Yo Mamas….. stupid jokes.

Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she bought a video tape on how to fix your VCR

Yo mama’s so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was ma-kin’ a booty call.

Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door with a peep hole

Yo mama is so stupid, she traded in her car for gas money.

Yo mama is so stupid that she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Yo mama’s so stupid that she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.

Yo mama is so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order

Here’s some funny white jokes, was quite hard to find these and interestingly people are asking for funny white jokes on forums and places like Yahoo answers only to be called racists and that they shouldn’t be asking for this type of racist jokes!

In comparison there are dedicated sites to black jokes and not seen any complaints on those sites I collected black jokes from (update: getting plenty of complaints at the pages I added Black Jokes to though!).

Also some of these are rehashed black jokes so if you know some really good white jokes PLEASE post it in the comments below.

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without Cause.”

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

“Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”

“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

“What sort of trouble?”

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

“Went away?”

“They disappeared.”

“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“It’s blank; it won’t accept anything when I type.”

“Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?”

20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it.
19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind.
18. He’s off to the sidelines for a quick blow.
17. It’s a game of inches.
16. That hole was so big, you could drive a truck through it.
15. When you get down in this area, you just gotta start pounding.
14. He’s gonna feel that one tomorrow.
13. He found his tight end.
12. End around.
11. He had to stretch to get it in.
10. He gets penetration in the backfield.
9. He blows them off (at the line).
8. He bangs it in.
7. He could go all the way.
6. He gets it off just in time.
5. He goes deep.
4. He found a hole and slid through it.
3. He pounds it in.
2. He beats them off (the line)
1. He’s got great hands.

A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny.

He gets to the point where he can't stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex with the donkey. He drops his pants and positions himself under the donkey. But, to his dismay, the donkey walks away.

Only slightly discouraged, the man decides to try again. He walks to where the donkey is standing, positions himself under the donkey, and right before he goes for it, the donkey walks away again.

A truck driver was driving down the highway when he sees a priest hitchhiking on the road. He stops to pick up the priest, but he has a few misgivings about giving him a ride; usually when the driver sees a redneck on the road, he hits them — with a priest in the truck, he’d have to swerve. But the driver decides to pick up the priest.

A little while later, he comes across a redneck hitchhiking. He decides to just swerve and let this one live when, all of a sudden he hears a “BOOM!” The driver looks over at the priest, who says, “Don’t worry — I got him with the door

A woman went down to the Welfare Office to get aid. The office worker asked her, “How many children do you have?”

“Ten,” she replied.

“What are their names?” he asked.

“David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David, David and David,” she answered.

“They’re all named David?” he asked “What if you want them to come in from playing outside?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” she said. “I just call ‘David,’ and they all come running in.”

“And, if you want them to come to the table for dinner?”

“I just say, ‘David, come eat your dinner’,” she answered.

Some more free Doctor Doctor jokes to make you laugh.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
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Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I’m a bee
Buzz off can’t you see I’m busy?
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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
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Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she’s invisible!
What sister?
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Rating:4/5
Comment: Lot more free, funny, Doctor doctor jokes to come later.

A whole bunch of “you might be an redneck” jokes

You might be a redneck if you don’t get these redneck jokes

You might be a redneck if you think “wind sprints” means running from a fart.

You might be an redneck if the last thing you say is “Hey! Watch this…”

You might be a redneck if your baby’s first words were, “Attention, K-mart shoppers.”

You know you married a redneck when she fills out her family reunion name tag, “Four for a Dollar.”

You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!

“Big scandal on the new ‘Survivor’ series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team.” –Jay Leno

“The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada’s Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. It’s gotta be awkward dating a fellow diplomat. Like today, MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her.” –Jay Leno

“General Colin Powell shocked a lot of people in Washington by speaking out against President Bush’s policies, saying that the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism. That’s what I think he said — it was hard to hear him because he was being hustled out of the room to his cell in Guantanamo Bay.” –Jay Leno

Black One liners: I’m not a racist, but….

If you are a black person reading this and feel offended and want to get back at those damn racist crackers, there’s a place to do this at White Jokes where you will find some more poorly written Racist Jokes.

Back to the black one liner jokes…

Black Joke One Liner 1
Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?

Black Joke One Liner 2
Q: How did they improve the transportation in Harlem?
A: Moved the trees closer together.

Black Joke One Liner 3
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.

Four guys went golfing; one went in the clubhouse to pay while the others waited at the first tee.

One of the guys says, “I’m so proud of my son. He is a stock broker and he’s made enough that he just gave away a huge portfolio.”

The next guy said, “I’m so proud of my son. He’s a car dealer and he’s doing so well, he just gave away a Ferrari.”

The third guy says, “I’m so proud of my son. He’s got enough money that he just gave away a million-dollar home.”

Just as the third guy finishes talking, the fourth guy joins them and asks, “What are you guys talking about?’