Adult Jokes

Three male work friends decided to take their wives on a gambling vacation for a week in Las Vegas. The gambling vacation week flew by and they all had a great time in the casinos gambling.

After they returned home and the men went back to work, they sat around at break and discussed their Vegas vacation.

The first guy says “I don’t think I’ll ever do that again! Ever since we got back from Vegas, my old lady flings her arms & hollers, “7 come 11″ all night & I haven’t had a wink of sleep!”

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A man comes home to find his wife of 10 years packing her bags!

“Where are you going?” demands the surprised husband.

“To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 cash to do what I do for you for free!”

The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags.

“What do you think you are doing?” she screamed.

“I’m going to Las Vegas with you… I want to see how you’re going to live on $1,000 a year!”

Popularity: 1%

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Adult jokes, not suitable for young children.

Adult Joke 1
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A guy dies whilst making love to his wife.

A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?”

The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!”

The undertaker does as he is told.

On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, “It fucking hurts doesn’t it!”

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A man went to see his doctor.
“You need to stop masturbating,” the doctor said.
The man asked, “Why?”
The doctor replied, “Because I'm trying to examine you!”

Popularity: 1%

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Helga was hang the wash out to dry, and then went downtown to pick up some dry cleaning.

''Gootness, iss hot,'' she mused to herself as the sun beat down on her. She passed by a tavern and said, ''Vy nought?'' So she walked into the air conditioning and took a seat at the bar.

“Bartender,” she said. “I vill have unt cold beer, please.''

The bartender asked, ''Anheuser Busch?''

''Vell, fine, tanks,” she said, “Just unt leetle svetty.''

Popularity: 1%

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There is a Bar in Calumpang who have has a Horse and they have a contest of it. Whoever will make the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free drinks.

So a man from Manila comes in and the Bartender looks at him and he ask for a beer and he ask the Bartender about the contest.

The Bartender tells him that whoever makes the horse laugh will win P5,000 and free beer on the house.

So this guy whisper something to the horse and the horse rolls over and laughing!!!

EEEEEEeeeeeeehhhh!!!

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Three guys are in a strip club. One guy walks over to a stripper, licks a 50 dollar bill and sticks it to one side of her butt.

The next guy doesn’t want to be shown up so he takes a 100 dollar bill, licks it, and sticks it to the other side of her butt.

The third guy doesn’t want to be shown up but he doesn’t have any money. He thinks for a moment and suddenly he gets an idea. He walks over to the stripper, takes out his ATM card, slides it down the crack of her ass, takes his 150 dollars and goes home!

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