Animal Jokes

Pig Joke 1
Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !

Pig Joke 2
What do you call a pig with three eyes? …A piiig

Pig Joke 3
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”

Pig Joke 4
A pig’s favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York.

Pig Joke 5
All our pigs are learning karate. Oh, I don’t believe that No? Well, just watch out for their chops.

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Rabbit Joke 1
A bumble bee was chasing a rabbit. Finally the bee turned around and flew away. Why? The rabbit had two b’s already.

Rabbit Joke 2
Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from? Mother Rabbit: I ll tell you when you re older. Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now. Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician’s hat.

Rabbit Joke 3
Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.

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Snake Joke 1
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned? . Then the second Snake says “Why do you ask?” The 1st one replies: “I just bit my lip!”

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Various Animal Joke 1
What do you call a gigantic polar bear? Nothing, you just run away!

Various Animal Joke 2
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !

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Zoo Joke 1
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo. A twenty-foot fence was put up. Again he go out. When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, “How high do you think they ll go?” The kangaroo said, “About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!”

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Mouse Joke 1
One lab mouse to another: I’ve trained that crazy human at last. How have you done that? I don’t know how, but every time I run through that maze and ring the bell, he gives me a piece of cheese.

Mouse Joke 2
What do mice do when they re at home ? Mousework !

Mouse Joke 3
What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat ? Here Kitty, kitty, kitty !

Mouse Joke 4
What kind of musical instrument do mice play ? A mouse organ !

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King Kong Joke 1
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. “How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a bottle costing $50.00. “That’s a bit much,” said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. “That’s still quite a bit,” Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. “What I mean,” said Tim, “is I d like to see something really cheap.” The clerk handed him a mirror.

King Kong Joke 2
Why did King Kong join the army? To learn about gorilla warfare.

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Insect Joke 1
What goes hum-choo, hum choo? A bee with a cold !

Insect Joke 2
What is a bee’s favourite classical music composer ? Bee-thoven !

Insect Joke 3
What does a queen bee do when she burps ? Issues a royal pardon !

Insect Joke 4
Where would you put an injured insect ? In an antbulance !

Insect Joke 5
What do bees do if they want to use public transport ? Wait at a buzz stop !

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Horse Joke 1
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, “You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!”

Horse Joke 2
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn’t show up at the church. He got colt feet

Horse Joke 3
As horses say to one another. Any friend of yours is a palomino!

Horse Joke 4
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!

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Gorilla Joke 1
A man walks outside to his car for work, when he notices a gorilla in his tree. He rushs to his phone book and finds the animal control number, calls and asks them to send over someone Who’s a gorilla expert. When the man arrives, he is carrying a shotgun, a chihuahua and a pair of handcuffs. The man says, What are all of those for? The animal control officer says, I ll climb up in the tree, knock the gorilla down, the dog will bite him in the nuts and you must slap the handcuffs on his wrists. The man asks,

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Frog Joke 1
A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said “BUK BUK BUK” Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left. An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said “BUK BUK BUK” Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water. All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it’s head up saying “RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!”

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Elephant Joke 1
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.

Elephant Joke 2
We re going to play elephants and circuses, said a little boy at kindergarten, Do you want to join in? I d love to, replied the teacher. What do you want me to do?

Elephant Joke 3
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tree !

Elephant Joke 4
What do you call an elephant that flies ? A jumbo jet !

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