Blonde Jokes

Rowing Your Boat

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know - it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”

To this, the other blonde replies “I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her.”

Rating:4.6/5

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A variation of this shown below.

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Blonde in a boat.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.”

Rating: 4/5
Comment: Wouldn’t be surprised if a blondie didn’t know what a driving licence is for.

Popularity: 17%

Some more quick Blonde jokes to make you laugh.

Title: Adventures in Disneyland
Rating: 4/5

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland Left.”
So they went home.

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Title: Confusing Blonde
Rating: 4/5

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.

Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.

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Title: 911
Rating: 3.8/5

Here’s a couple quick “Just following instructions” jokes, showing when blondes follow instructions to the key.

Title: Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Rating: 4.6/5

Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ”Sorry, try again.”

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Title: Blonderrific Hair!
Rating: 4.5/5

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?
She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

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Title: Blonde Puzzle
Rating: 4.5/5

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said “From 2-4 years.”

Brought to you by comedycentral.com
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
“Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she came back inside.

“No, but it’s okay — I got the license plate number!”

Rating: 4.1
Comment: Seems like the silly thing a blonde would do, follow the advice of the police to the letter and grab her own licence plate number. Though in the real world this would have come in handy for the police to track the car down.

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”

The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”

The cop looked at her and said, “Lady, that’s your air freshener!”

Two blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.
Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,

“HURRY, HURRY, IT’S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!”

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”
”Why sure,” said the manager, ”we have something that works especially well for that.”

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ”No, no! A little to the left,” said the other blonde inside the car.