Blonde Jokes

There was a young blonde girl who loved to wear skirts everyday to school.

One day a boy asked the blonde to climb the flag pole for a box of cookies.

She climbed the pole and all the boys in the schoolyard could see her panties.

When she got home she bragged to her mother that she got a box of cookies for climbing a flag pole. The mother knew that the boys just wanted to see up her skirt so she told the blonde girl not to climb the pole again.

The next day the boy asked her to climb the pole for a box of candy. She did and they all saw her panties again.

A young blonde college co-ed came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!”

“I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad knowing how dumb his blonde daughter is.

“You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.”

“What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” he said. “there must be some mistake.”

“I don’t think so,” the blonde sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”

Rowing Your Boat

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said “You know – it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!”

To this, the other blonde replies “I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her.”

Rating:4.6/5

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A variation of this shown below.

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Blonde in a boat.

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what’s so funny.

One day this cop pulls over a dumb blonde for speeding.

The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.

”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.”

Rating: 4/5
Comment: Wouldn’t be surprised if a blondie didn’t know what a driving licence is for.

Some more quick Dumb Blonde jokes to make you laugh.

Dumb Blonde Title: Adventures in Disneyland
Rating: 4/5

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland Left.”
So they went home.

Dumb Blonde Title: Confusing Blonde
Rating: 4/5

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.

Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.

Dumb Blonde Title: 911
Rating: 3.8/5

Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can’t find the eleven.

Here’s a few Dumb Blondes Following Instructions Jokes, showing when blondes follow instructions to the key.

Dumb Blondes Joke Title: Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Rating: 4.6/5

Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ”Sorry, try again.”

Dumb Blondes Joke Title: Blonderrific Hair!
Rating: 4.5/5

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?
She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

Dumb Blondes Joke Title: Blonde Puzzle
Rating: 4.5/5

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said “From 2-4 years.”

A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.

“Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she came back inside.

“No, but it’s okay — I got the license plate number!”

Rating: 4.1
Comment: Seems like the silly thing a blonde would do, follow the advice of the police to the letter and grab her own licence plate number. Though in the real world this would have come in handy for the police to track the car down.

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”

The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”

The cop looked at her and said, “Lady, that’s your air freshener!”

Rating: 4.6/5
Comment: A funny joke to anybody who’s ever been behind a bad blonde driver for a large stretch of road, or know a blonde who is that short sighted.

Two dumb blondes were shopping at the mall. When they were done, they went out to their car, which happened to be an awesome leather-interior convertible, but they realized they had locked the keys in the car. So they both kind of stood there and thought for a while.

Then one of the girls had the bright idea to try to open the car with a coat hanger, so she started fiddling with the lock. The other dumb blonde looked up at the sky, became very worried, and pleaded,

“HURRY, HURRY, IT’S GOING TO RAIN AND WE LEFT THE TOP DOWN!”

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, ”I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?”
”Why sure,” said the manager, ”we have something that works especially well for that.”

A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. ”No, no! A little to the left,” said the other blonde inside the car.

Rating: 4.3
Comment: This unique joke just shows that even if two blondes are working on an situation, the solution still isn’t any smarter.