Doctor Doctor Jokes

Funny Medical Chart Notes 1
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

Funny Medical Chart Notes 2
Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.

Funny Medical Chart Notes 3
Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

Funny Medical Chart Notes 4
On the second day, the knee was better, and then on the third day it disappeared.

Funny Medical Chart Notes 5
Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

Funny Medical Chart Notes 6
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

Funny Medical Chart Notes 7
Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

Five surgeons are discussing who were the best patients to operate on.

The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see Accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’

The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try Electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’

The third surgeon says, ‘No, I really think Librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order.’

The fourth surgeon chimes in, ‘You know I like Construction Workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end, and when the job takes longer than you said it would.’

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily
against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”

The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”

The owner says, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with laxatives!”

The clerk says, “Oh yeah? Look at him, he’s afraid to cough!”

A woman and a baby come into the doctor’s office.

She is taken into an examining room and waits for the doctor.

After arriving there, the doctor examines the baby, and finds him not gaining much weight and asks the woman, “Is he breast fed or on the bottle?”

“Oh…he is breast fed!”, replied the woman.

“Well then, strip down to your waist,” orders the doctor.

She takes off her top and bra and sits on the examing table.

The doc starts pressing, kneading and pinching both breasts for quite a while in a very detailed and thorough examination.

The doc motions to her to get dressed, then the doctor says, “No wonder this baby is so hungry. You don’t have any milk!”

The fourth part in the free, funny, Doctor Doctor jokes collection.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I’m a bell?
Take these and if it doesn’t help give me a ring!

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Doctor, Doctor everyone keeps throwing me in the garbage.
Don’t talk rubbish!

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
I’ll deal with you later.

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Doctor, Doctor Can I have second opinion?
Of course, come back tomorrow!

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Rating: 3.2/5
Comment: This is the fourth in the collection of free funny doctor doctor jokes, more to come later as always.

The third collection of free funny Doctor Doctor jokes.

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Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?
Use a pencil till I get there

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Doctor these pills you gave me for BO…
What’s wrong with them?
They keep slipping out from under my arms!

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Doctor, Doctor I feel like a spoon!
Well sit still and don’t stir!

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Doctor, Doctor I’m on a diet and it’s making me irritable. Yesterday I bit someones ear off.
Oh dear, that’s a lot of calories!

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Rating:4.2/5
Comment: The third page of an on going colletion of very funny free Doctor Doctor jokes.

Some more free Doctor Doctor jokes to make you laugh.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
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Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I’m a bee
Buzz off can’t you see I’m busy?
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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
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Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she’s invisible!
What sister?
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Rating:4/5
Comment: Lot more free, funny, Doctor doctor jokes to come later.

The first set of many Doctor Doctor jokes.

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

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Doctor Doctor I think I’m a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window…!

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Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!

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Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don’t worry it’s just a chain reaction!

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Rating: 3.7
Comment: More of these to come!