A new collection of free funny Yo Mamas….. so fat jokes to chuckle over.
Yo mama is so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the bathroom scale.
Yo Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a species will be extinct.
Yo Mama is so fat, the highway patrol made her wear ”Caution! Wide Turns!”
Yo’ mama is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.
Your mama is so fat, that she uses the refrigerator for her lunch box.
The first set of free funny Yo Mamas….. stupid jokes.
Yo’ Mama is so stupid, she bought a video tape on how to fix your VCR
Yo mama’s so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was ma-kin’ a booty call.
Yo mama is so stupid, she has a glass door with a peep hole
Yo mama is so stupid, she traded in her car for gas money.
Yo mama is so stupid that she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.
The first set of many Doctor Doctor jokes.
Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!
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Doctor Doctor I think I’m a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window…!
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Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!
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Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don’t worry it’s just a chain reaction!
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Rating: 3.7
Comment: More of these to come!
Popularity: 18%
Accountant Joke 1
An accountant visited the Natural History museum. While standing near the dinosaur he said to his neighbor: “This dinosaur is two billion years and ten months old”. “Where did you get this exact information?” “I was here ten months ago, and the guide told me that the dinosaur is two billion years old.”
Accountant Joke 2
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”
After God had created Adam he noticed that he looked very lonely. He decided to help.
He said, “Adam, I’ve decided to make you a woman. She’ll love you, cook for you, be sweet to you, and understand you.”
Adam said “Great! How much will she cost me?”
The answer came back, “An arm and a leg.”
“Well,” said Adam “what can I get for a rib?”
Popularity: 9%
A certain professor arrived late for a lecture to find a most uncomplimentary drawing of himself on the blackboard.
Fuming, he asked the class joker in the front row, “Who, pray, was responsible for this atrocity?”
The joker won tremendous prestige with his reply, “I really don’t know, but I strongly suspect its parents.”
Popularity: 9%
Two farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: “I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal.”
“Well” replied the other farmer “I’m not sure about that. What you mean is that if you have two horses you’d give me one?”
“Of course” says the first.
The second farmer continued: “and of you had two cars, you’d give me one of them too?”
“Absolutely”
“So” says the second farmer, “if you had two pigs then you’d give me one of them?”
“How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.
“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went.”
“But you’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?”
“But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack.
“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” Tracy pointed out.
The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack.
This Policeman pulled a car over and told the man driving that he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone.
“I was only going 40!” the driver protested.
“Not according to my radar,” the officer replied.
“Yes, I was!” the man shouted back.
“No you weren’t!” the policeman said, starting to get annoyed
Read in full at Shaping Up for a Good Excuse
Popularity: 7%
As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing.
Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can until eventually he collapses, gasping for breath.
In a last act of desperation he shouts after the
Read in full at Fire Engine
Popularity: 7%
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I’ll be ruined!”"It’s in the judge’s hands now,” said the lawyer.
“Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that
Read in full at Anyone for a Cigar
Popularity: 4%
A bus load of tourists arrives at Runnymede. They gather around the guide who says, “This is the spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”
A fellow at the front of the crowd asks, “When did that happen?”"1215,” answers the guide.
The man looks at his watch and says, ”
Read in full at Magna Carta
Popularity: 2%
