Air Head on a Beer
Published on October 21st, 2006 by Joker in Just Jokes0
Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.
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Just Jokes
The Christian and the Atheist
Published on October 20th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesThere’s a little old Christian lady living next door to an atheist. Every morning the lady comes out onto her front porch and shouts “Praise the Lord!”.The atheist yells back, “There is no God”.She does this every morning with the same result. As time goes on, the lady runs into financial
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Anthill Golfing
Published on October 20th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesOnce there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot.So he lined up and tried another shot.
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High Blood Pressure
Published on October 20th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesWhen a physician remarked on a new patient’s extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, “High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family.”"Your mother’s side or your father’s?” I asked.”Neither,” he replied. “It’s from my wife’s family.”"Oh, come now,” I said. “How could your wife’s
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Man Pisses in a Shot Glass
Published on October 20th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesA guy is in a bar with a bunch of his friends. After a while of shooting pool and drinking, he whispers something to his friends. A few minutes later he walks over to the bartender and asks for a shot of tequila. After he takes the shot he says to the bartender,'' I'd like to make a bet with you.'' The bartender replies, ''Sure I'm in a betting mood.'' So the man bets the bartender $1,000 that he can piss in the shot glass placed all the way across the room and fill it up and not spill a drop. The bartender says, ''I'll take that bet.'' So the man walks to the other side of the room and places the shot glass down. He goes back to the bartender and starts pissing. He doesn't even get a drop in. He pisses all over the place. In the bartender's face, all over the barstools and everything. After he was done pissing, the bartender laughed and said, ''You owe me $1,000.'' The man paid the money with a big smile on his face. The bartender asked, ''How come you're so happy?'' The man replied, ''You see those five guys over there by the pool table? I bet them $300 each that I could piss all over your bar and you'd laugh about it.''
Jets Fan
Published on October 19th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesA guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.The bartender says,”Hey! No pets allowed in here! You’ll have to leave!”The man begs, “Look I’m desperate. We’re both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only
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Too Much Sugar
Published on October 19th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesA fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.”I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today.” the caller said.”Are you light-headed?” my colleague asked.”No,” the caller answered, “I’m a brunette.”
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Refrigerator Goals
Published on October 19th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesWhen I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife more; lose weight; be more productive at work.I promptly added: “Send Michelle money every month.”A few days later my brother wrote: “Make
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College Entrance Exam: For Football Players
Published on October 19th, 2006 by Joker in Just Jokes, Sport JokesYou Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify.1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions. OR Give the first name of PIERRE Trudeau.3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to: (a) build a bridge (b) sail the ocean (c) lead an army (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (Check only one) (a) Jewish (b) CATHOLIC (c) Hindu (d) Swedish (e) Agnostic 5. Metric conversion. How many feet in 0.0 meters?6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 1? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (Approximate)8. What are people in America's far north called? (a) Westerners (b) Southerners (C) NORTHERNERS 9. Spell — CAT, DOG, PIG 10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five. EXTRA CREDIT: Using your fingers, count from 1-5.
How to Catch a White Elephant
Published on October 18th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesGo to an place where there are white elephants. Bring with you a muffin (with raisins).Climb a tree. When the white elephant is close, drop the muffin (with raisins) in front of it.The white elephant will be happy, and eat the muffin (with raisins). White elephants like muffins (with raisins)
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Mom’s Time Out
Published on October 18th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesMy Parents had not been out together in quite some time.One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up behind her.”Would you like to go out, girl?” he asked.Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, “Oh, yes, I’d love to!”They had a wonderful evening,
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The Beachcomber
Published on October 18th, 2006 by Joker in Just JokesWhile sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, “are there any gators around here?!”"Naw,” the man hollered back,
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