Wacky Headline
Published on June 14th, 2008 by Joker in Just Jokes0
Hear about the psychic midget who escaped from jail?
Yeah the headlines in the newspaper read “SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE”.
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Just Jokes
Lost paper
Published on June 14th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesA general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded
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Running Fast
Published on June 14th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesA scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it’s no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”.
The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you !”
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Bad News and Worse News
Published on June 14th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesA doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible”, said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve
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Library Complaint
Published on June 13th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesJudi stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!”"Yes, ma’am?”"I borrowed a book last week and it was horrible!”"What was wrong with it?”"It had way too many characters and there was no plot whatsoever!”
The librarian nodded and said, “Ah. So you must be
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Jars and Bottles
Published on June 13th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesA woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year old daughter to answer the phone.
“It’s the minister, Mommy,” the child said to her mother.
Then she added, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now.
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Escaped
Published on June 12th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesThree convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confronted by a policeman.
“Hey, aren’t you those three escaped convicts?”, asked the policeman.
Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said “no, I’m Mark, Mark Spencer.”"The second followed his
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Brandy to the Rescue
Published on June 12th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesFor a holiday, an Irishman decided to go to Switzerland to fulfill a lifelong dream and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide and just as they neared the top, the men were caught in a snow slide.
Three hours later, a Saint Bernard plowed through to them, a keg of brandy tied under his chin.
”
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Sentimental Golfer
Published on June 12th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesA man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says:
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Emotional Extremes
Published on June 11th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesThe aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “What is the opposite of joy?”"Sadness,” said the student.
“And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from
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Wanted Man
Published on June 11th, 2008 by Joker in Just JokesA man walks into the sheriff’s office… “I want to become a deputy!”"Good, I want to you to catch this man” says the sheriff handling the man a wanted poster.
The poster reads : ‘Last seen wearing a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, and brown paper boots.’
“What’s he
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Things You Never Hear in Church
Published on June 11th, 2008 by Joker in Just Jokes- Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
- I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
- Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
- I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
- I volunteer to be the
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