Funny Kids Jokes

Funny Kids Jokes

A grandma and her grandson were waliking in the park. The grandson spotted a coin and wanted to pick it up, but his grandma told him not to pick stuff up from the ground. The next day, they went walking in the park. The grandma fell down and said “dear grandson may you please help me up” then he said” but grandma, i thought you said not to pick stuff up from the ground” Funny [...]

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A couple had two little boys, ages eight and ten, who were excessively mischievous. The two were always getting into trouble and their parents could be confident that if any mischief occurred in their town, their two young sons were involved in some capacity. The parents were at their wit’s end as to what to do about their sons’ behavior. The parents had heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children [...]

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A fourth-grader was excited that he had tried out and gotten a role in his school’s play. His father was really proud of him and asked, “So, what part did you get?” The little boy replies, “I got the part of a man who’s been married for 25 years.” His father congratulated him said “That’s good son. Maybe next time you’ll get a talking role!”

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Part of my job as a public-health nurse is teaching new parents how to care for their infants. As I was demonstrating how to wrap a newborn, a young Asian couple turned to me and said, “You mean we should wrap the baby like an egg roll?” “Yes,” I replied, “That is a good analogy.” “I don’t know how to make egg rolls,” another mother said anxiously. “Can I wrap my baby like a burrito?”

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“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?” The father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.” “That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”

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Why did the hearing aid saleman give it up for a life of piracy? Because he only made a good buccaneer.

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Baby Joke 1 What does a baby computer call his father? Data. Baby Joke 2 Did you hear about the witch who had the ugliest baby in the world? She didn’t push the pram – she pulled it. Baby Joke 3 What was the policeman’s baby’s first words ? Hallo, Hallo, Hallo ! Baby Joke 4 Knock knock. Who’s there? Baby Owl. Baby Owl who? Baby Owl see you later, baby not. Baby Joke 5 [...]

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A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, “Mama, I don’t want to go out there. It’s dark.” The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. “You don’t have to be afraid of the dark,” she explained. “Jesus is out there. He’ll look after you and protect you.” The [...]

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A little girl and her dog are walking through the forest when they suddenly fall into a pit. They scramble and scramble but can''t make their way out. The little girl yells, the dog barks, but no one is around to hear their calls for help. Slowly, the night sky turns black and they find themselves engulfed in utter darkness. Off in the distance, the wolves begin howling. Each howl is louder and closer than [...]

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How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A buck an ear.

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