Lawyer Jokes

A young boy walked up to his father and asked, “Dad? Does a lawyer ever tell the truth?”The father thought for a moment. “Yes, son,” he replied, “Sometimes a lawyer will do anything to win a case.”

Read in full at Lawyers and the Truth

A lawyer had successfully handled a difficult law case for a wealthy friend. Following the happy outcome of the case, the friend and client called on the lawyer, expressed his appreciation of his work and handed him a handsome Moroccan leather wallet.The lawyer looked at the wallet in

Read in full at Ungracious Lawyer

Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!Q. What is the difference between a bearded lawyer and a catfish?
A. One’s slimy and has whiskers, and the other one lives in the water.

Read in full at Catfish Jokes

A very rich lawyer is approached by the United Way. The man from the United Way is concerned that the lawyer made over $1,000,000.00 last year but didn’t donate even a cent to a charity.”First of all”, says the lawyer, “my mother is sick and dying in the hospital, and it’s not covered by

Read in full at Lawyers & Charity

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial.It was nearly 4:00 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to

Read in full at A Jury Full of Lawyers

An old man was a witness in a burglary case.The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?â€â€œYes,†said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the goods.â€The lawyer asks Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw myclient commit this crime?â

Read in full at The Old Witness

One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.”Why are you eating grass?”, he asked one man.”We don’t have any money for food.”, the poor man replied.”Oh,

Read in full at A wealthy lawyer

A judge enters the courtroom, strikes the gavel and says, “Before I begin this trial, I have an announcement to make.”The lawyer for the defense has paid me $15,000 to swing the case his way. The lawyer for the plaintiff has paid me $10,000 to swing the case her way.”In order to make this a

Read in full at Judge\’s Announcement

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it for the express degree you told me about?”“It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said. “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a lawyer?”“That’s my

Read in full at I want to become a lawyer …

I was on a panel for prospective jury duty. The first lawyer questioning us began right off as an intimidating showman and asked the question, “Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?”Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, “I do.”

Read in full at Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.”My name is Bobby. What’s yours?” asked the first boy.”Danny,” replied the second. “My Daddy’s an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?” asked Bobby.Danny replied, “My Daddy’s a lawyer.

Read in full at Honest Lawyer?

If you laid all of the lawyers in the world end-to-end around the equator, it would be a good idea to leave them there.

Read in full at Equating Lawyers