Political Jokes

Not looking for Funny BNP Jokes, try the BNP Policies Debate for discussing the BNP.

British National Party Joke 1
A former BNP security officer has been fined for naming 12,000 members on the Internet.
Like many of you, I’m also shitting myself that my names popped up

British National Party Joke 2
A member of the BNP was rushed to an NHS hospital following a near fatal car accident.
“I don’t want any chinks, coons or pakis treating me”, he insisted.
Suffice to say, the daft cunt died.

British National Party Joke 3
After a leaked document was published online, BNP members have been targeted by threats.
Well, I’m in the BNP and I think the fucking threats should be sent back to Threatland.

After making a comment on the Barack Obama Jokes page basically about how great it is to be able to poke fun at presidents because we live in safe countries, I realised I can also poke fun at not so democratically elected presidents like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the Iranian president

So here goes, Funny Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Jokes or funny political quotes to be precise.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Joke/Quote by Bill Maher
No, it’s sad about Iran, but what do you expect about a country with a government that’s propped up by oil, that’s led by a religious wacko? Kind of like Alaska.

“The U.S. House of Representatives passed a bill to build a 700-mile fence along the Mexican border. Apparently, the idea is to keep Mexicans from getting back home.” –Conan O’Brien

“A new season of ‘Survivor’ debuted tonight featuring the controversial idea of separating the tribes by race. The Asian tribe is called Puka Puka, the African-American tribe is called Manihiki, and the Caucasian tribe is called the Republicans.” –Conan O’Brien

“This week, President Bush said he has no plans to invade North Korea. Bush said, ‘This time, Rumsfeld and I are going to wing it.’.” –Conan O’Brien

President George W Bush, in an airport lobby, noticed a man in a long flowing white robe with a long flowing white beard and flowing white hair. The man had a staff in one hand and some stone tablets under the other arm.

President George W Bush approached the man and inquired, “Aren’t you Moses.”

The man ignored President George W Bush and stared at the ceiling.

President George W Bush positioned himself more directly in the man’s view and asked again, “Aren’t you Moses”.

The man continued to peruse the ceiling.

President George W Bush tugged at the man’s sleeve and asked once again, “Aren’t you Moses”.

The man finally responded in an irritated voice, “Yes I am”.

How many Whigs does it take to light an oil lamp?

One, and that person shall be President Andrew Jackson, hero of the Battle of New Orleans and Friend to the Common Man!

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he''''d been sitting on a park bench.

He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton.”

The Marine replied, “Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t residehere.”

The old man said, “Okay,” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton”.

The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn''''t reside here.”

A man died and went to Heaven.

As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”.

St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move.”

“Oh”, said the man, “Whose clock is that?”

“That’s Mother Teresa’s”, replied St. Peter “The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

“Incredible.” said the man “And whose clock is that one?”

St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.”

“Big scandal on the new ‘Survivor’ series. The white, the black and the Hispanic teams were caught cheating off the Asian team.” –Jay Leno

“The hot gossip in Washington is that Condoleezza Rice might have a new boyfriend. Secretary of State Rice is being linked to Canada’s Foreign Minister, Peter MacKay. It’s gotta be awkward dating a fellow diplomat. Like today, MacKay had to promise Condi he would get permission from the U.N. before he invaded her.” –Jay Leno

“General Colin Powell shocked a lot of people in Washington by speaking out against President Bush’s policies, saying that the world is beginning to doubt the moral basis of our fight against terrorism. That’s what I think he said — it was hard to hear him because he was being hustled out of the room to his cell in Guantanamo Bay.” –Jay Leno