You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if Wookies are offended by your B.O.

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if You have ever had an X-wing fighter up on blocks in your yard.

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if you have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill.

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.

You Might Be a Star Wars Redneck if your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Here’s some funny white jokes, was quite hard to find these and interestingly people are asking for funny white jokes on forums and places like Yahoo answers only to be called racists and that they shouldn’t be asking for this type of racist jokes!

In comparison there are dedicated sites to black jokes and not seen any complaints on those sites I collected black jokes from (update: getting plenty of complaints at the pages I added Black Jokes to though!).

Also some of these are rehashed black jokes so if you know some really good white jokes PLEASE post it in the comments below.

If you are a white person (AKA a honkey/cracker) reading this and feel offended and want to get back at those damn niggers, there’s a place to do this at Black Jokes where you will find some more poorly written racist jokes with lots of comments.

Back to the racist white jokes…

White Joke 01
How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack? He walked in and payed for it.

White Joke 02
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.

White Joke 03
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap? 9 months

White Joke 04
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light? None, white girls can’t screw

White Joke 05
How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, white men will screw anything.

White Joke 06
How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? None They’ll Have a Nigger Do it!

White Joke 07
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line!

White Joke 08
What did the white man do before his blood test? He studied.

White Joke 09
What did the white woman do after she spilled hot coffee on her legs? File a lawsuit.

White Joke 10
What do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both black people with white faces.

White Joke 11
What do u call a bunch of white people in a bowl? Crackers

White Joke 12
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? Snow.

White Joke 13
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle? A Dope Ring!

White Joke 14
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA

White Joke 15
What do you call a mob of white people at the University of Maryland burning down the city? A Maryland championship.

White Joke 16
What do you call a mob of white people in Alabama? A lynching.

White Joke 17
What do you call a mob of white people in Detroit burning down the city? A hockey victory.

White Joke 18
What do you call a white cop? Police brutality.

White Joke 19
What do you call a white guy on “Jeopardy?” A contestant.

White Joke 20
What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A taxi.

White Joke 21
What do you call a white man in court? The lawyer.

White Joke 22
What do you call a white man in the ghetto? A victim.

White Joke 23
what do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Crackers with cheese.

White Joke 24
What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV? “Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!”

White Joke 25
What does a white man do at the club? Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin’ & grindin’ with all of his fine white bitches.

White Joke 26
What does a white man do when he is unhappy with current government decisions? He writes a letter.

White Joke 27
What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him? “I forgive you”

White Joke 28
What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? They’re both stuck up cunts.

White Joke 29
What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations.

White Joke 30
What’s Orange White and Very Beautiful? A WHITE BOY ON FIRE!

White Joke 31
What’s the difference between a white man and a snake? One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake

White Joke 32
What’s the difference between a white whore and a bitch? The white whore would screw everybody in the room and the bitch would fuck everyone but you.

White Joke 33
What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl’s ass!

White Joke 34
What’s white and fourteen inches long? Absolutely nothing!

White Joke 35
White people think T-shirts are underwear.

White Joke 36
Why cant white men jump? They were too busy making racist jokes.

White Joke 37
Why did the white man cross the road? Because he needed something that was on the other side of the road.

White Joke 38
Why did white people own slaves? They were not strong enough to pick cotton – weak bastards.

White Joke 39
Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It’s hard to find them in the snow.

White Joke 40
Why do white people like to play hockey? It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they’re not a cop.

White Joke 41
You know what sucks about being white? Not much, really. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those tsunami victims in Asia…I’d say we’re pretty lucky.

White Joke 42
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”

White Joke 43
A black boy is playing in the kitchen and he covers himself in flour. He goes up to his mother and says “Mummy, look at me ! I’m not a little black boy anymore I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His mum slaps him around the head, “Go and tell your Father what you just said !”

So the little black boy, complete with sore cheek walks into the living room and says to his Father “Daddy look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His father kicks him in the balls, “Go and tell your Gran what you just said !”

So the little black boy hobbles into the garden and says to his Gran “Granny look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His gran punches him in the nose and asks him what he has to say for himself.

Standing there with blood pouring down his face, clutching his balls he says “I’ve only been a white boy for 5 minutes and already I hate niggers!”

White Joke 44
A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

The nurse says: “She had twins.”

He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”

White Joke 45
What’s white and twelve inches long? Nothing!

More Racist Jokes including over 1,000 very funny Redneck Jokes.

I’ve created a new page on another site called Racist White Jokes that I hope will be used for posting new white jokes via the comments rather than slagging each other off as has occurred in the comments below!

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

A whole bunch of “you might be an redneck” jokes

You might be a redneck if you don’t get these redneck jokes

You might be a redneck if you think “wind sprints” means running from a fart.

You might be an redneck if the last thing you say is “Hey! Watch this…”

You might be a redneck if your baby’s first words were, “Attention, K-mart shoppers.”

You know you married a redneck when she fills out her family reunion name tag, “Four for a Dollar.”

You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!

You might be a redneck if your grandma goes to the bathroom and comes out yelling “Come look before I flush it!”

You might be a redneck if you see a sign that says ”Just Say No To Crack” and it reminds you to pull up your pants!

You might be a redneck if you go to your family reunion to meet women.

More “You might be an redneck” jokes coming up later.

Other Redneck Jokes
Redneck Jokes 1 to 100
Redneck Jokes 101 to 200
Redneck Jokes 201 to 300
Redneck Jokes 301 to 400
Redneck Jokes 401 to 500
Redneck Jokes 501 to 600
Redneck Jokes 601 to 700
Redneck Jokes 701 to 800
Redneck Jokes 801 to 900

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Black One liners: I’m not a racist, but….

If you are a black person reading this and feel offended and want to get back at those damn racist crackers, there’s a place to do this at White Jokes where you will find some more poorly written Racist Jokes.

Back to the black one liner jokes…

Black Joke One Liner 1
Q: Have you ever seen a black person on the Jetsons?
A: NO. Looks like a good future doesn’t it?

Black Joke One Liner 2
Q: How did they improve the transportation in Harlem?
A: Moved the trees closer together.

Black Joke One Liner 3
Q: How do you start a black parade?
A: Roll a 40 down the street.

Black Joke One Liner 4
Q: How long does it take a black lady to shit?
A: About 9 months.

Black Joke One Liner 5
Q: What did the black girl say while having sex?
A: Dad get off me your crushing my ciggies.

Black Joke One Liner 6
Q: What do u call a black priest?
A: Holy shit

Black Joke One Liner 7
Q: What do u do when your sitting in the dark and your TV starts to float?
A: You turn on the lights and shoot the black people stealing it.

Black Joke One Liner 8
Q: What do you call 10,000 black people at the bottom of the sea?
A: A good start.

Black Joke One Liner 9
Q: What do you call 100 black guys buried from the neck down?
A: Afro Turf.

Black Joke One Liner 10
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
A: Antique farm equipment.

Black Joke One Liner 11
Q: What do you call a barn full of blacks?
A: Farm equipment.

Black Joke One Liner 12
Q: What do you call a black person in a three piece suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.

Black Joke One Liner 13
Q: What do you call a group of blacks in the ocean?
A: An oil spill

Black Joke One Liner 14
Q: What do you call a pool full of black kids?
A: Cocoa puffs

Black Joke One Liner 15
Q: What do you call a school bus full of black people?
A: A rotten banana

Black Joke One Liner 16
Q: What do you call Mike Tyson if he has no arms or legs?
A: Nigger, Nigger, Nigger!!!!

Black Joke One Liner 17
Q: What do you do if you see a black man flopping around on the ground?
A: Stop laughing and reload

Black Joke One Liner 18
Q: What does the BFI on the dumpster’s stand for?
A: Black Family Inside

Black Joke One Liner 19
Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jelly beans?
A: The black one steals your watch.

Black Joke One Liner 20
Q: What was the only thing missing from the million man march? A. An auctioneer

Black Joke One Liner 21
Q: What’s the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead black person in the road?
A: There’s skid marks in front of the skunk.

Black Joke One Liner 22
Q: Why are black people like jelly beans?
A: No one likes the black ones.

Black Joke One Liner 23
Q: Why are black people so good at Basketball?
A: Cause all you have to do is RUN … SHOOT … and STEAL

Black Joke One Liner 24
Q: Why are blacks afraid of lawn mowers?
A: Because it goes run nigger nigger run.

Black Joke One Liner 25
Q: Why do blacks bury their dead upside down?
A: To use them as bike racks.

Black Joke One Liner 26
Q: Why do police dogs lick their balls?
A: To get the taste of Negro out of their mouths

Black Joke One Liner 27
Q: What did the white redneck say to his wife when she told him their black neighbors was coming over for Christmas?
A: So much for a white Christmas this year!

If you have a funny black one liner not above feel free to post it as a comment below.

More Racist Jokes including Nigger Jokes

I’ve created a new page on another site called One Liner Black Jokes that I hope will be used for posting new one liner black jokes via the comments rather than slagging each other off as has occurred in the comments below!

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

I’ve tried to keep these jokes short so the dumb blondes and rednecks can understand them

You Might be a Taliban Joke 1
You might be a Taliban if you are amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 2
You might be a Taliban if you bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 3
You might be a Taliban if you believe masturbation is evil but beating your wife is OK.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 4
You might be a Taliban if you can’t have sex with your first wife until she turns 13.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 5
You might be a Taliban if you can’t think of anyone you HAVEN’T declared Jihad against.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 6
You might be a Taliban if you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your pants.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 7
You might be a Taliban if you consider US soldiers uncivilized for dropping the Quran but you have no problem throwing acid in your wife’s face if she asks for a divorce.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 8
You might be a Taliban if you have at least four brothers named Mohammed.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 9
You might be a Taliban if you have more wives than teeth.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 10
You might be a Taliban if you have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 11
You might be a Taliban if you own a $300 machine gun and $2,000 rocket launcher, but you can’t afford shoes.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 12
You might be a Taliban if you refine heroin for a living, but have a “moral objection” to beer.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 13
You might be a Taliban if you think an assault with fifty men and machine guns against a US Stryker Brigade may be successful.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 14
You might be a Taliban if you think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 15
You might be a Taliban if you wear eyeliner but you have been acquitted at least once for murdering your wife, sister, or daughter because they wore makeup.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 16
You might be a Taliban if you wipe your ass with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 17
You might be a Taliban if you’d rather have your daughter raped than have an education.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 18
You might be a Taliban if you’ll kill anyone that says you’re not peaceful.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 19
You might be a Taliban if your home doesn’t have drapes, but your camel does.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 20
You might be a Taliban if your lifetime goal is to die.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 21
You might be a Taliban if your mother would be happier if you blew up into a million pieces.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 22
You might be a Taliban if you’ve ever had a crush on your neighbor’s goat.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 23
You might be a Taliban if you’ve ever uttered the phrase “I love what you’ve done with this cave”.

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Not looking for Funny BNP Jokes, try the BNP Policies Debate for discussing the BNP.

British National Party Joke 1
A former BNP security officer has been fined for naming 12,000 members on the Internet.
Like many of you, I’m also shitting myself that my names popped up

British National Party Joke 2
A member of the BNP was rushed to an NHS hospital following a near fatal car accident.
“I don’t want any chinks, coons or pakis treating me”, he insisted.
Suffice to say, the daft cunt died.

British National Party Joke 3
After a leaked document was published online, BNP members have been targeted by threats.
Well, I’m in the BNP and I think the fucking threats should be sent back to Threatland.

British National Party Joke 4
After a successful advertising campaign at the French Open tennis, Nick Griffin has turned his attention to the Queens Club.

British National Party Joke 5
Anyone else find it funny that a group calling itself “Unite Against Fascism” wants to ban the BNP because they don’t agree with their views?

British National Party Joke 6
Apparently the 2 people that posted the list of the BNP have been caught . good old cops they may not have really done fuck all to stop knife crime in London but that’s just because there black and cops don’t normally hire or care for blacks . violent ,psychopathic right wing nuts on the other hand

British National Party Joke 7
Apparently, Osama Bin Laden has called off the latest strikes on Manchester….
He knows that any attacks on the dole queues will kill too many of his own.

British National Party Joke 8
BNP Leader Nick Griffin recently attended the Queen’s garden party.
Things were going fine until she asked him if he liked macaroons.
The required response was not, “They should all fuck off home.”

British National Party Joke 9
BNP leader Nick Griffin recently dismissed the Jewish holocaust as a myth.
In response, Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sacks dismissed Griffin as a fantastical creature with the body of a lion and the head of an eagle.

British National Party Joke 10
BNP members are being ‘targeted by threats’, they claim its all black mail.

British National Party Joke 11
BNP Party Leader Nick Griffin is being sued by Cillit Bang for imitating their slogan “Bang! And The Dirt Is Gone” for his election campaign.

British National Party Joke 12
BNP: Putting ‘riot’ back into patriotism.

British National Party Joke 13
Did anyone else vote BNP today just so they could mark it with a swastika instead of a cross?
Or for that matter vote the Christian Party and mark it with a crucifix?

British National Party Joke 14
Does anyone else think that Nick Griffin had trouble with a “colour-by-numbers” book as a child?

British National Party Joke 15
‘Eight Neo-Nazis arrested in Israel.’
What next, BNP relocate to Bradford?

British National Party Joke 16
FROM THE BBC WEBSITE:
The UK’s equalities watchdog has begun legal action against the British National Party over concerns about ethnic restrictions on its membership.
I wonder just how many Blacks, Arabs, Pakis and Muslims are disappointed that their application to join the BNP was rejected?

British National Party Joke 17
Has anybody else noticed that only white people attend Anti Fascist rallies?
Seems to me that black people just don’t give a shit.

British National Party Joke 18
Hello there, I am a black, ginger, homosexual, Jewish shemale of Pakistani origin, I was just wondering if you could tell me where the local BNP recruitment center is?

British National Party Joke 19
HIV is a friendly disease.
After all, it kills blacks, gays and drug users.
What’s the problem?

British National Party Joke 20
I am absolutely appalled by the BNP’s policy of not letting black people into the party.
Expecting women to do all the cleaning is just sexist.

British National Party Joke 21
I couldn’t help thinking why don’t the BNP merge with the UK independence party.
Then I remembered, they can’t stand anything slightly different.

British National Party Joke 22
I couldn’t make my mind up so just voted for whichever was first on the ballot paper.
Someone really should start a party beginning with ‘A’.

British National Party Joke 23
I didn’t vote for the BNP due to the sheer audacity of a racist party to field a leader who didn’t even have blonde hair and blue eyes.

British National Party Joke 24
I don’t blame Yorkshire for electing a BNP member. If someone was going to PAY me to leave the country I’d vote for them too.

British National Party Joke 25
I just heard a conversation on the bus about Nick Griffin.
A griffin, isn’t that half lion, and half eagle?
The leader of the BNP has a mixed race surname, what is this country coming to?

British National Party Joke 26
I see BNP leader Nick Griffin got pelted with eggs today.
They should have thrown black pudding.

British National Party Joke 27
I see the BNP had a party to celebrate their recent election success in of all places Blackpool.
I would have thought Whitehaven was more their kind of place.

British National Party Joke 28
I think they should make Big Brother more entertaining and put a celeb in the house. Nick Griffin would certainly make it more entertaining.

British National Party Joke 29
I voted up a BNP joke the other day …
He’s now an MEP.

British National Party Joke 30
I was going to join the BNP, until I found out it didn’t stand for British National Party. Then I thought, ‘Fuck it’ Ban Niggers and Pakis is near enough.

British National Party Joke 31
I was going to vote BNP in this year’s European elections.
But then I remembered that I didn’t like Polls.

British National Party Joke 32
I was looking forward to my first BNP meeting. Imagine my surprise when, thanks to my dyslexia, I attended a BP meeting by mistake – non of the Black Panthers seemed particularly pleased with any of my banners or my ‘wogs out’ badges. Picky cunts.

British National Party Joke 33
I woke up this morning feeling a bit off colour
So I got up and joined the BNP.

British National Party Joke 34
If the BNP are so worried about foreigners, why do they all go to the Costa Del Sol to try and look like one?

British National Party Joke 35
If there’s something weird. In your neighborhood.
Who you gonna call?
Nick Griffin.

British National Party Joke 36
In some ways, you have admire BNP leader Nick Griffin.
He’s not afraid to call a spade a nigger.

British National Party Joke 37
Is it just me that thinks the egg throwing would have been better if they told Nick Griffin that they came from foreign chickens?

British National Party Joke 38
Isn’t it terrible that the BNP won 2 seats in the European Parliament.
Still, at least they didn’t let any Pakis in.

British National Party Joke 39
It’s just been announced that the British National Party are to go into the call center business:
Press 1 to speak in English
Press 2 to be disconnected until you learn to speak English

British National Party Joke 40
I’ve just been on the phone to Nick Griffin after the egging outside parliament. He was fuming. They didn’t separate the whites first.

British National Party Joke 41
Just saw the new BNP policy on immigration
“Catch it, Kill it, Bin it”

British National Party Joke 42
My girlfriend’s doing a fun run for the BNP – Racist For Life.

British National Party Joke 43
Nick Griffin should at least be happy that he got pelted by British farm eggs

British National Party Joke 44
Radio phone-ins – gotta love-em.
Ist caller “How can you be proud of voting for the BNP? Is this what your grandfather fought for?”
2nd caller “It’s EXACTLY what my grandfather fought for. He settled in Birmingham after the war after his Heinkel was shot down and he was made a POW.”

British National Party Joke 45
Seems odd that, for people who hate foreigners so much, the BNP are awfully proud to be going to Europe.

British National Party Joke 46
So the BNP is against European unification?
Strange – Hitler didn’t seem to think it was a bad idea…

British National Party Joke 47
Susan Boyle must hate Diversity more than Nick Griffin.

British National Party Joke 48
The BBC is facing protests after inviting the British National Party to appear on Question Time.
I bet Nick Griffin’s looking forward to wearing his “KICK RAGHEADS OUT OF BRITAIN” t-shirt.

British National Party Joke 49
The BNP do make a good case for the European election.
The bit where Nick Griffin said, “We’re not racist!” convinced me.

British National Party Joke 50
The BNP have been accused of trying to bribe voters.
If they get in, they’ve promised the whole country an Indian takeaway.

British National Party Joke 51
The BNP representing us in Europe.
A bit like sending a KKK member into a Black power meeting, fucking great.
You just know its wrong but you wanna watch anyway.

British National Party Joke 52
The BNP
More holes in our policies than the average household sieve

British National Party Joke 53
The leader of the British National Party has said he will now not be attending a Buckingham Palace garden party following uproar over his invitation.
Nick Griffin said he had “no wish to embarrass the Queen” at the event which now only leaves Prince Phillip left to chant “Hitler was right” and “Who’s the Paki in the corner”.
Also apparently Mr Griffin was already “double booked” having to attend the annual KKK barbeque and sponsored lynching fund raiser at the Millwall Football Club with this years guest speaker Lenny Henry.

British National Party Joke 54
Tip of the week-
When the BNP post window posters through your letter box, don’t hesitate to put it in your window, when the cunts from the local takeaway’s come posting shite, they’ll think twice about putting one through your letter box.

British National Party Joke 55
To the black people of the UK.
really piss the BNP off by creating your own political party and use the initials BNP.
I suggest keeping the British and Party bits and the N word will have to be something that the rest of the UK can easily identify you with.
I’m sure you’ll think of a word.

British National Party Joke 56
Truthfully, how many of us voted for BNP, just to piss of the colored people?

British National Party Joke 57
Unlike most political parties, the BNP have the courage of their convictions.
Mainly for inciting racial hatred.

British National Party Joke 58
Went on the main BNP website today and realized I never knew how racist they were before. Also never knew they were sponsored by a t-shirt site either.

British National Party Joke 59
What’s the difference between the BNP and the British royal family?
One’s a group of racist Nazi’s that don’t believe in democracy…
The other’s the BNP.

British National Party Joke 60
What’s the similarity between an alleyway in London and an Olympic racing track?
Gunshot and ten blacks running.

British National Party Joke 61
What’s the trouble with BNP football team?
They’re all right wings.

British National Party Joke 62
When rats desert the sinking ship
With Labour all at sea
The great white hope’s not Tory
But fucking BNP.

British National Party Joke 63
Why do all BNP protesters look the same, dirty, smelly bastards who live off taxpayers money.
Fucking students
I’ll have you know that I’m a student and I have to insist on disagreeing with your completely unreasonable and offensive statement. I hope you issue an apology at least. For the record, us students are dirty, smelly bastards who live off our PARENT’S MONEY.
Yeah, and I object to all students being called BNP protesters. I’m a student and a committed racist.

British National Party Joke 64
With the BNP list being produced.
Now is there any list I’m not on?

British National Party Joke 65
You can’t beat the wisdom of old people!
Earlier on I was talking to my grandad about the BNP. I said, “What is it that makes people hate like that?”
He said, “Poofs and blacks”.

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Barack Obama Jokes

Obama Joke 01
Bill Clinton said, “I didn’t inhale.”
Barack Obama says, “I didn’t inject.”

Obama Joke 02
Richard Nixon said “I am not a crook!”
Barack Obama says “I am not on crack!”

Obama Joke 03
Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”
Barack Obama says, “Leave the bucks here!”

Obama Joke 04
Q. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack?
A. He thought Barry sounded too American.

I’ve been reading the various Obama joke pages online and have to say they generally aren’t very good! If you’ve thought of a funny Obama joke please post it as a comment.

Also see Black Jokes One Liners and Nigger Jokes for similar types of politically incorrect jokes.

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Funny Irish Joke 01
Finnegin: Me wife has a terrible habit of staying up ’til two o’clock in the morning. I can’t break her of it.
Sean: What on earth is she doin’ at that time?
Finnegin: Waitin’ for me to come home.

Funny Irish Joke 02
First Irish Farmer: “My cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it.”
Second Irish Farmer: “Did you shoot it in the hole?”
First Irish Farmer: ” No, in the head.”

Funny Irish Joke 03
Incomprehensibly, the last coach of the train on a normal route kept getting smashed up by vandals.
A porter came up with an idea. “Why don’t we leave the last coach off!”

Funny Irish Joke 04
Me Ma wanted me to be a priest.
Can you imagine?
Here I hafta give up all hope of a sex life, then once a week ya gotta let people come in and tell you all about theirs!

Funny Irish Joke 05
O’Connell was staggering home with a small Paddy in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
“Please, God,” he implored, “let it be blood!”

Funny Irish Joke 06
Reilly went to trial for armed robbery.
The jury foreman came out and announced, “Not guilty.”
“Oh my!” shouted Reilly.
“Does that mean I get to keep the money?”

Funny Irish Joke 07
Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.
“Quick!” He said.
“Send an ambulance, me wife is about to have a baby!”
“Is this her first baby?” the intern asked.
“No ya idjit, this is her husband, Kevin”!

Funny Irish Joke 08
The late Bishop Sheen stated that the reason the Irish fight among themselves, is because that way, they’re always assured of having a worthy opponent.

Funny Irish Joke 09
Two lawyers standing before an Irish judge got into a fierce argument.
At last one lawyer lost his temper and shouted, “Sir you are the biggest fool that I have set eyes on.”
“Order, order,” said the Irish judge.
“You seem to forget that I am in the room.”

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Irish One Liner Joke 01
Q. “I hear Murphy died, ” said Pat. “Was he ill long?”
A. “No,” said Mick. “He died in the best of health.”

Irish One Liner Joke 02
Q. “O’Ryan,” asked the druggist, “did that mudpack I gave you improve your wife Bridget’s appearance?”
A. “It did surely,” replied O’Ryan, “but it keeps fallin’ off!”

Irish One Liner Joke 03
Q. “Well, Mike,” said the doctor. “I can’t quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink.”
A. “Sure, that’s all right, doctor,” said Mike. “I know how you feel. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”

Irish One Liner Joke 04
Q. “Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?” asked President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
A. “Do we now?” came New York Mayor Al Smith’s reply.

Irish One Liner Joke 05
Q. A severe storm rumbled through Carlow last week and destroyed the entire town:
A. $10 worth of damage was reported.

Irish One Liner Joke 06
Q. An American lawyer asked, “Paddy, why is it that whenever I ask an Irishman a question, he answers with another question?
A. “Who told you that?” asked Paddy.

Irish One Liner Joke 07
Q. An IRA man shows up at the pearly gates and St. Peter comes out to greet him. St. Peter takes one look and says “I don’t think you can get in here.
A. The IRA man says “Who wants in? You’ve twenty minutes to get the *#!@ out!

Irish One Liner Joke 08
Q. Definition of an Irish husband?
A. A man who hasn’t kissed his wife in twenty years, but he’ll kill the man who does.

Irish One Liner Joke 09
Q. Did you hear about the Irish newlyweds who sat up all night on their honeymoon waiting for their sexual relations to arrive?

Irish One Liner Joke 10
Q. Did you hear that the library at Trinity burned down?
A. Naturally, the students were very upset….some of the books weren’t colored-in yet.

Irish One Liner Joke 11
Q. His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan. “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant.
A. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said Finnegan.

Irish One Liner Joke 12
Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is heterosexual?
A. He can outrun his roommate!

Irish One Liner Joke 13
Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
A. With a restraining order.

Irish One Liner Joke 14
Q. How do we know that Christ was Irish?
A. Because he was 33 still lived at home thought his mother was a virgin and she thought he was the son of God.

Irish One Liner Joke 15
Q. How do you get a IT grad off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.

Irish One Liner Joke 16
Q. How many Athlone IT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None – Westmeath looks better in the dark.

Irish One Liner Joke 17
Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One – he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

Irish One Liner Joke 18
Q. How many UL students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Three – One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

Irish One Liner Joke 19
Q. Irish lass customer: “Could I be trying on that dress in the window?”
A. Shopkeeper: “Well now, I’d prefer that you use the dressing room.”

Irish One Liner Joke 20
Q. Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen, “Is that you I hear spittin’ in the vase on the mantle piece?”
A. “No,” said himself, “but I am gettin closer.”

Irish One Liner Joke 21
Q. Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.
A. Quinn considers him to be very lucky. His wife makes him walk.

Irish One Liner Joke 22
Q. Paddy was rather sad after viewing the body of a dead atheist. A. “There he was. All dressed up and no place to go.”

Irish One Liner Joke 23
Q. Paddy was walking through a graveyard when de came across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a politician and an honest man.”
A. “Faith now,” exclaimed Paddy, “I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.”

Irish One Liner Joke 24
Q. Seamus do you understand French?
A. I do if its spoken in Irish.

Irish One Liner Joke 25
Q. Seamus was getting irate and shouted upstairs to his wife,” Hurry up or we’ll be late.”
A. “Oh, be quiet,” replied his wife. “Haven’t I been telling you for the last hour that I’ll be ready in a minute?”

Irish One Liner Joke 26
Q. She followed her husband to the public house. “How can you come here,” she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, “and drink that awful stuff?”
A. “Now!” he cried, “And you always said I was out enjoying meself.”

Irish One Liner Joke 27
Q. Two Irishmen had just won $5000,000 in a lottery. Having a pint in a pub Tim say to Sean, what about all them beggin letters?
A. Sean replies, we’ll just keep sending them.

Irish One Liner Joke 28
Q. What do tornadoes and graduates from IT’s have in common?
A. They both end up in trailer parks.

Irish One Liner Joke 29
Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
A. A Murder Suspect.

Irish One Liner Joke 30
Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Carlow campus?
A. An undergraduate degree.

Irish One Liner Joke 31
Q. What does a IT student call a D.C.U student after graduation?
A. Boss.

Irish One Liner Joke 32
Q. What have Irishmen and Jesus Christ got in common?
A. They both lived with their mother until they were 33 and neither had a job.

Irish One Liner Joke 33
Q. What’s the first thing a Trinity girl does when she wakes up in the morning?
A. Walks home.

Irish One Liner Joke 34
Q. Why are Irish jokes so simple?
A. So the English can understand them.

Irish One Liner Joke 35
Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Carlow?
A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

Irish One Liner Joke 36
Q. Why do Trinity graduates put a copy of their diploma in the window of their vehicles?
A. So they can park in handicap spaces.

Irish One Liner Joke 37
Q. Why does it take five Irishmen to change a lightbulb?
A. One to change the bulb. Four to remark about how grand the old bulb was.

Irish One Liner Joke 38
Q. Why don’t they have Christmas at Trinity?
A. They can’t find a virgin and three wise men.

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.

Redneck Jokes 1 to 100

Other Redneck Jokes
Redneck Jokes 1 to 100
Redneck Jokes 101 to 200
Redneck Jokes 201 to 300
Redneck Jokes 301 to 400
Redneck Jokes 401 to 500
Redneck Jokes 501 to 600
Redneck Jokes 601 to 700
Redneck Jokes 701 to 800
Redneck Jokes 801 to 900

Redneck Joke 01
You might be a redneck if a full tank of gas doubles the value of your truck.

Redneck Joke 02
You might be a redneck if a woman says she’s game, so you shoot her.

Redneck Joke 03
You might be a redneck if all of the light switches in your house are wired to turn on the light on the front porch.

Redneck Joke 04
You might be a redneck if all of your favorite shirts came with a two-pack purchase of cigarettes.

Redneck Joke 05
You might be a redneck if all you want for Christmas is deer pee.

Redneck Joke 06
You might be a redneck if an expired license plate means another decoration for your living room wall.

Redneck Joke 07
You might be a redneck if any of your children were conceived under a stop light.

Redneck Joke 08
You might be a redneck if any of your hobbies require dogs and a lantern.

Redneck Joke 09
You might be a redneck if any of your honeymoon plans involve a deer camp.

Redneck Joke 10
You might be a redneck if anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container.

Redneck Joke 11
You might be a redneck if are missing a lot of teeth.

Redneck Joke 12
You might be a redneck if both your house and car are on blocks.

Redneck Joke 13
You might be a redneck if chiggers are included on your list of top five hygiene concerns.

Redneck Joke 14
You might be a redneck if directions to your house include “turn off the paved road”

Redneck Joke 15
You might be a redneck if during the wedding ceremony the minister said, “Do you, DeWayne, take Connie to be your old lady?”

Redneck Joke 16
You might be a redneck if everything you won at the fair is hanging from your rearview mirror.

Redneck Joke 17
You might be a redneck if fine dining is the Waffle House.

Redneck Joke 18
You might be a redneck if for your first anniversary you take your wife to dinner at the Wal-mart snack bar.

Redneck Joke 19
You might be a redneck if Friday night is “sneak into the drive-in night”.

Redneck Joke 20
You might be a redneck if getting a package from your post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.

Redneck Joke 21
You might be a redneck if grass is growing in the floor boards of your car.

Redneck Joke 22
You might be a redneck if Hank Williams, Jr. is your hero.

Redneck Joke 23
You might be a redneck if hot dogs and pork-n-beans are your favorite Sunday night dinner.

Redneck Joke 24
You might be a redneck if the dashboard of your work vehicle is covered with empty cigarette cartons and Mountain Dew bottles

Redneck Joke 25
You might be a redneck if you think hocking loogies onto oncoming vehicles should be an Olympic sport.

Redneck Joke 26
You might be a redneck if in preparation for your upcoming wedding, your register your Tupperware pattern.

Redneck Joke 27
You might be a redneck if instead of buying your girlfriend candy and flowers, you spray paint her name on an overpass.

Redneck Joke 28
You might be a redneck if it took the smartest kid in your 6th-grade class three times to pass his driving test.

Redneck Joke 29
You might be a redneck if it took you twenty years to figure out how to add single digit numbers.

Redneck Joke 30
You might be a redneck if it’s impossible to see food stains on the fabric of your work uniform.

Redneck Joke 31
You might be a redneck if Jack Daniel’s makes your list of most admired people.

Redneck Joke 32
You might be a redneck if making beer is a neighborhood project.

Redneck Joke 33
You might be a redneck if no matter how you clean your hands, the dirt under your nails won’t come off.

Redneck Joke 34
You might be a redneck if none of these jokes are making sense to you.

Redneck Joke 35
You might be a redneck if on cold nights, your dog sleeps on the bed and your wife doesn’t.

Redneck Joke 36
You might be a redneck if on Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

Redneck Joke 37
You might be a redneck if on the 4th of July you spend it at the waffle house beside a drunk while waiting to get your pastor out of jail (true story).

Redneck Joke 38
You might be a redneck if one of your fantasies involves a bulldozer.

Redneck Joke 39
You might be a redneck if people come to your door mistakenly thinking you have an auto salvage business.

Redneck Joke 40
You might be a redneck if people don’t recognize your car without a dead animal on the hood.

Redneck Joke 41
You might be a redneck if people hear your car a long time before they see it.

Redneck Joke 42
You might be a redneck if PMS stands for “Parent Medical System.”

Redneck Joke 43
You might be a redneck if Rocky Top is your favorite song (for all the Vols fans!).

Redneck Joke 44
You might be a redneck if somebody says, “HO DOWN” and your wife falls to the ground!!

Redneck Joke 45
You might be a redneck if someone accuses you of lying through your tooth.

Redneck Joke 46
You might be a redneck if someone asks, “Where’s your bowling bag?” and you answer, “She’s at home with the kids.”

Redneck Joke 47
You might be a redneck if someone can circumcise you by kicking your little sister in the jaw.

Redneck Joke 48
You might be a redneck if stealing road signs is a family outing.

Redneck Joke 49
You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

Redneck Joke 50
You might be a redneck if that billboard that says, “Say No To Crack” reminds you to pull up your jeans.

Redneck Joke 51
You might be a redneck if that white tailed deer is being paid 10 bucks an hour to stand on a ladder behind your wall and stick his head in.

Redneck Joke 52
You might be a redneck if the air freshener hanging in your car lost its scent more than 5 years ago.

Redneck Joke 53
You might be a redneck if the auto junkyard calls you to get spare parts.

Redneck Joke 54
You might be a redneck if the best 5 years of your life were in the second grade.

Redneck Joke 55
You might be a redneck if the biggest city you’ve ever been to is Wal-Mart.

Redneck Joke 56
You might be a redneck if the bouquet at your wedding was stolen from a cemetery.

Redneck Joke 57
You might be a redneck if the church social committee is afraid to meet at your house.

Redneck Joke 58
You might be a redneck if the emergency room nurse knows everyone in your family by name.

Redneck Joke 59
You might be a redneck if the fairground’s main attraction is to see who can throw cow pie the farthest!

Redneck Joke 60
You might be a redneck if the figures on your wedding cake wore overalls.

Redneck Joke 61
You might be a redneck if the first question your mother asks upon checking into the motel is, “Where’s the nearest liquor store?”

Redneck Joke 62
You might be a redneck if the first thing you do in the morning is check your critter trap, and you’re disappointed when it is empty.

Redneck Joke 63
You might be a redneck if the flood history of your area can be seen on your living room walls.

Redneck Joke 64
You might be a redneck if the fountain at your wedding spewed beer instead of champagne.

Redneck Joke 65
You might be a redneck if the front license plate of your car has the words “Foxy Lady” written in airbrush.

Redneck Joke 66
You might be a redneck if the game warden knows the serial numbers to your guns by heart.

Redneck Joke 67
You might be a redneck if the gazebo in your yard is bigger than your trailer.

Redneck Joke 68
You might be a redneck if the highlight of your day is finding the prize in a Cracker Jack box.

Redneck Joke 69
You might be a redneck if the hood of your truck is higher than the roof of your house.

Redneck Joke 70
You might be a redneck if the landscaping in your front yard is broken down cars.

Redneck Joke 71
You might be a redneck if the last time you saw your daddy outside, he was picking up trash, chained to three other guys.

Redneck Joke 72
You might be a redneck if the library in your city ran out of the book “The ABC’s of Belching”.

Redneck Joke 73
You might be a redneck if the Marlboro man is your idol.

Redneck Joke 74
You might be a redneck if the most common phrase you hear at your family reunion is “What the hell are you looking’ at Diphead?”

Redneck Joke 75
You might be a redneck if the most common phrase in your house is “someone go jiggle the handle.”

Redneck Joke 76
You might be a redneck if the nearest liquor store is brewing in your basement.

Redneck Joke 77
You might be a redneck if the newspaper (the business) is the community toilet paper.

Redneck Joke 78
You might be a redneck if the only songs you know on guitar are Lynard Skynard songs.

Redneck Joke 79
You might be a redneck if the other 13 trailers out back of yours belong to your children and their families.

Redneck Joke 80
You might be a redneck if the passengers enter your vehicle through the driver’s-side door.

Redneck Joke 81
You might be a redneck if the police are looking for you in a brown truck so you wiped off the mud a bit so they wouldn’t recognize you.

Redneck Joke 82
You might be a redneck if the receptionist is responsible for checking the rat traps at your place of business.

Redneck Joke 83
You might be a redneck if the Salvation Army comes to your house and takes the wrong furniture.

Redneck Joke 84
You might be a redneck if the seats in your car are also your living room furniture.

Redneck Joke 85
You might be a redneck if the strongest smell in your house is butane.

Redneck Joke 86
You might be a redneck if the tailgate on your truck is also your lawn furniture.

Redneck Joke 87
You might be a redneck if the town policeman stops by so much, you know his 5th grade GPA.

Redneck Joke 88
You might be a redneck if the UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.

Redneck Joke 89
You might be a redneck if the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.

Redneck Joke 90
You might be a redneck if the words Nascar, tire, dog or shotgun appeared in your wedding vows.

Redneck Joke 91
You might be a redneck if there are antlers nailed to the outside of your house.

Redneck Joke 92
You might be a redneck if there are four pairs of pants and two squirrels hanging from your clothesline.

Redneck Joke 93
You might be a redneck if there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.

Redneck Joke 94
You might be a redneck if there are more dishes in your sink than in your cabinets.

Redneck Joke 95
You might be a redneck if there are more than 5 animals sleeping in your bed.

Redneck Joke 96
You might be a redneck if there is a restraining order on your pets.

Redneck Joke 97
You might be a redneck if there is anyone named Cletus in your family.

Redneck Joke 98
You might be a redneck if there is bungee cord holding your bumper on to your car.

Redneck Joke 99
You might be a redneck if there is more carpet on your toilet than on your floors.

Redneck Joke 100
You might be a redneck if there is trophy in your house with the word “spitting” on it.

Racism Discussions

If you find these jokes not to your taste and would like to discuss racism, please go to this Racism Discussion Forum.