Sport Jokes

Sport Joke 1
Where do religious school children practice sports? In the prayground!

Sport Joke 2
How did the basketball court get wet? The players dribbled all over it!

Sport Joke 3
Why did the chicken get sent off? For persistent fowl play!

Sport Joke 4
Why were the two managers sitting around sketching crockery before the start of the game? It was a cup draw!

Sport Joke 5
Where do football directors go when they are fed up? The bored room!

Sport Joke 6
A manager was being interviewed after he had resigned from a football club? “Were the crowd not behind you” asked the reporter “They were right behind me all right”, said the manager, “But I managed to shake them off at the station!”

Hunting Joke 1
An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him. He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word. On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, “Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?” “I sure did,” responded the pessimist. “He can’t swim.”

Fishing Joke 1
Bob is sitting on the ice all day fishing with no luck, not even a nibble. Cold and tired he is about to leave, when a guy walks up cuts a hole in the ice beside him, and starts pulling out fish as fast a he can drop his hook in the water. Bob can’t believe it, he yells over ” whats your secret?” “woogatkakeptewrwm” he answers back. “what did you say?” replies Bob. The man spits a large ball of worms on the ice and says to Bob, ” you have to keep your worms warm”.

Fishing Joke 2
If you re fishing on ice, you should never tell a joke on ice. WHY??? The ice will crack up!

“How was your golf game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy.

“Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went.”

“But you’re seventy-five years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?”

“But he’s eighty-five and doesn’t even play golf anymore,” protested Jack.

“But he’s got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball,” Tracy pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. “Do you see it?” asked Jack.

“Yup,” Scott answered.

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

Cletus took Maynard to his first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s Bench. After the game, Cletus asked Maynard how he liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it,” he replied, “but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Read in full at Making Cents of Football

During the Super Bowl, there was another football game of note between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals and at half-time, the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.At the start of the second half the big animals had the

Read in full at Animal Super Bowl

On the seventh day, God said, “Let there be football.”

And it was good.

Later that day, God said, “Let there be one team to rule the others and set the standard for excellence.”

With that, he plucked a star from the heavens and placed it on the helmet of silver and blue.

God said, “Let it be called, 'The Dallas Cowboys' – America's team.”

Later that day, God said, “Even Cowboys need a**holes.”

So he made their fans.

Permalink Texas Sphincters

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she like the game.’I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,’ she said.’What do you mean?’ he asked.’Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’

Read in full at First Football Game

Jimmy’s mom dragged him in front of his dad during the football game.”Talk to your son,” she said. “He refuses to obey a word I say.”The father turned to Jimmy angrily. “Jimmy, how dare you disobey your mother. Do you think you’re better than your old man?”

Read in full at Talk to Your Son

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.”I liked it, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents,” she said.”What do you mean?” he asked.”Well, everyone kept yelling, ‘Get the quarter back!’”

Read in full at She\’s new to football

“Dad,” said Little Johnny, “I’m late for football practice. Would you please do my homework for me?”The father said irately, “Son, it just wouldn’t be right.”"That’s okay,” replied Little Johnny, “but you could at least give it a try, couldn’t you?”

Read in full at Homework Help