Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up?

Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist!

What do you call a chicken at the North Pole?
Lost.

What do you call a polar bear wearing ear muffs?
Anything you want. He can’t hear you!

What do you call it when your Christmas tree explodes?
A tannen-bomb. (tannenbaum)

What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter “D”.

What happened when Santa’s cat swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had mittens.

What’s red and white and red and white and red and white?
Santa Claus rolling down a hill.

Where did the mistletoe go to become rich and famous?
Holly-wood.

Why did Frosty go to live in the middle of the ocean?
Because snow man is an island.