Thousands of really hilarious jokes
With apologies to Clement C. Moore, author of 'A Visit From St. Nicholas''Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep. I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheepThe leftovers beckoned --- The dark...
- Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes? - Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?- If a pig is sold to the pawn...
A guy found a sheep and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, "Take that sheep to the zoo, now."Next day the policeman sees the man with the sheep again.The policeman stops the guy...
- Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?- Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?- If a pig is sold to the pawn shop...
Man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. Tells the shepherd, "I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell...
How many Deadheads does it take to change a light bulb?12,001. That's one to change it, 2,000 to record the event and take pictures, and 10,000 to follow it around until it burns out. Read in...
Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.Beating around the bush - 75Jumping to conclusions - 100Climbing the walls - 150Swallowing your pride - 50Passing...
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were traveling through Scotland when they saw a black sheep through the window of the train. "Aha," says the engineer, "I see that Scottish sheep are black." "Hmm,"...
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display. Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights." Boy: "So,...
- When your friend tells you all about his Cressida V6 and you reply "Yeah, I had V5, and it was full of bugs!"- When driving you see a license plate with the letters DSR,...
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