Thousands of really hilarious jokes
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.- If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad...
Three men are in a bar having a drink. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, WOMAN: Whoever can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can date me for...
* Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.* ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.* Pay for your dinner with pennies.* Repeat everything someone says, as a question.*...
8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit?6....
In this life, I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I...
- Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.- While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and...
- Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.- The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.- New edition every two years in order to limit...
- Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops...
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to...
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any. Permalink Airy Sex...
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