Dirty jokes, not suitable for young children.
Dirty Joke 1
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Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, “Well, tonight’s the night we have sex!”
And so they did.
As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, “My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!”
And the woman was thinking to herself, “My God, if I knew the old geezer could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panty hose!”
Please comment on this dirty joke below or if you know a better dirty joke please post it.
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Dirty Joke 2
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A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds ” My husband suffers from premature ejaculation.”
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires “Is that true?”
The husband replies “Well not exactly, it’s her that suffers not me.”
Please comment on this dirty joke below or if you know a better dirty joke please post it.
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Dirty Joke 3
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An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.
As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound-up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, “Honey, this guy hasn’t seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!”
“Dear,” the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, “I’m so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a nice, tight butt!”
Please comment on this dirty joke below or if you know a better dirty joke please post it.
4 responses to Dirty Jokes
so, this man has a huge body and a really little head. so he walks into a bar and people start laughing and pointing. so another guy walks up the man and goes “what happened to your head?”
so the man goes “man you dont wanna know”
the other guy says ‘yeah i really do”
so the man said “i was walking on the beach on day and kicking the sand and i came upon a bottle. i picked in up and a genie came out.
she says “you have three wishes”
the man goes “okay my first wish is a million dollars”
the genie goes “okay”
so i get the money.
the man goes “my second wish is to have a mansion”
the genie says “okay”
the man goes “my last wish is to fuck you”
the genie says “you cant, im on my period”
the man goes “okay how bout a little head?”
: ) hahaha sooo funny.
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there was a kid that couldnt talk so good and his mom asked him to get 3 things a bucket some gum and a cocker spaniel so the kid went to the candy store and asked for some bum and the cashier said you mean some gum and the kid said yea bum so he got it then he went to the hardware store and asked for a fucket and the cashier said you mean a bucket yea a fucket then he got it then he went up to a cop and said will you hold my bum and fucket while i go get a cock and spank it.hahahahaha
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this is bullshit!
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this is rubbish like your mum in bed
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