Thousands of really hilarious jokes
The following were all found in notes written by parents to excuse their children's absences from school. - Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side. - Please excuse Ray Friday...
After teaching high school for nearly 20 years, I thought I'd heard every possible excuse for missing homework until one parent sent me this note: "Please excuse Lori for not having her algebra homework. The cat...
The following were all found in notes written by parents to excuse their children's absences from school. - My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. - Please excuse...
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me,...
A Policeman pulled a car over and asked the man driving why he was going 50 mph in a 40 mph zone? "I was only going 40!" the driver protested. "Not according to my radar," the...
The DA stared at the jury, unable to believe the "not guilty" verdict he'd just heard. Bitterly, he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?"The foreman answered, "Insanity."The attorney responded, still...
- Are you a surgeon? Cause you've just taken my heart away! - Excuse me, but I think I dropped something ... My Jaw !!! - If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as...
A person was visiting Washington, DC for the first time. Unable to locate the Capitol building, the person asked a police officer for directions, "Excuse me, officer, how do I get to the Capitol building?"The...
An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. A smartass...
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searchs for someone who could give him the...
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