Thousands of really hilarious jokes
A man is walking on the beach when he trips over a lamp. A few seconds later, a genie pops out and says, "I’m required to grant three wishes, but since you did not treat...
Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in...
Two farmers were discussing politics and the first one says: "I believe in a share and share alike policy. One where we are all equal." "Well" replied the other farmer "I'm not sure about that....
Two doctors are in the hallway complaining about nurse Nancy.''She's out of control!'' the first doctor says. ''She does everything backwards. Just last week I told her to give a man two milligrams of morphine...
A salesman from KFC walked up to the Pope and offers him a million dollars if he would change "The Lord's Prayer" from "give us this day our daily bread" to "give us this day...
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" The thief said,...
A man walks out of a bar and sees a bum panhandling on the corner. The bum says, "Mister, can you spare a dollar?" The man thinks a minute. Then he asks the bum, "If I...
On the way back to New York as I was sitting in the Phoenix airport, they announced that the flight to Vegas was full. The airline was looking for volunteers to give up their seats....
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."The second...
A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a Budweiser, or...!"Scared, the bartender serves the man his Budweiser. This happens everyday for a week straight, and the...
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