Thousands of really hilarious jokes
A man walks into a coffee shop and places his order."I'd like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream."The girl behind the counter says "I'm sorry, sir, but we're out of cream. How about...
A man approaches an ice cream van and asks, "I'd like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please."The girl behind the counter replied, "I'm very sorry, sir, but our delivery didn't come this morning. We're...
The young man entered the Ice Cream Palace and asked, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?""Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the girl wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue."Do you...
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother was putting cold cream on her face."Why are you rubbing that cream on you face, mommy?" heasked."To stay pretty for daddy," said his mother.A few minutes later, she...
Q. How do astronauts eat their ice creams? A. In floatsQ: How do you make a dinosaur float?A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur!Q: What...
Two police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. The homicide detective is already there."What happened?" asks the first officer."Male, about twenty-five, covered in Raisin Bran and dead as a doornail.""Good grief,"...
A teacher asks her class, "If there are five birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny."None, they all fly away with...
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you listen to the heart? Coroner: No. Attorney: Did you check for breathing? Coroner:...
Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.My way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone.====Martha's way: Use a meat...
The French existentialist Jean-Paul Sartre was sitting in a cafe when a waitress approached him: "Can I get you something to drink, Monsieur Sartre?" Sartre replied, "Yes, I'd like a cup of coffee with sugar, but...
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