Thousands of really hilarious jokes
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.- If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad...
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom Salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and...
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the...
An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them. When they arrived at the...
Jock finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial problems. He's so desperate that he decides to ask God for help. "God, please help me. Ah've lost ma...
Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof has been developed that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is...
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, "When I die,...
A thief stuck a pistol in a man's ribs and said, "Give me your money." The gentleman, shocked by the sudden attack, said "You cannot do this, I'm a United States Congressman!" The thief said,...
Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives, sales people, accountants and especially liberal arts majors." This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based...
After the church service a little boy told the pastor, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money.""Well, thank you," the pastor replied, "but why?""Because my daddy says you're one of the...
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