Thousands of really hilarious jokes
A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home.As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette.Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing.He did, however,...
After teaching high school for nearly 20 years, I thought I'd heard every possible excuse for missing homework until one parent sent me this note: "Please excuse Lori for not having her algebra homework. The cat...
Bidding at a local auction was proceeding furiously when the auctioneer suddenly announced, "A gentleman in this room has lost a wallet containing $10,000. If it is returned, he will pay a reward of $2,000."There...
A husband and wife were lying in bed together one night. The wife rolled over and placed her hand lovingly on the chest of her husband. "Honey," the wife said, "if I died would you...
Husband: Hi dear. I'm logged in Wife: Have you brought the groceries? Husband: Bad command or file name wife: But I told you in the morning ? Husband: Erroneous syntax. Abort, retry, cancel? Wife: What about my new TV ? Husband:...
Two deaf men were in a coffee shop discussing their wives.One signs to the other, 'Boy was my wife mad at me last night. She went on and on and wouldn't stop!'The other Buddy says,...
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, a good cook, and great in bed... But the law allows only one wife... Read in full at Perfect Wife...
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table,...
A lawyer's wife dies. At the cemetery, people are appalled to see that the tombstone reads, “Here lies Phyllis, wife of Murray, L.L.D., Wills, Divorce, Malpractice.”Suddenly, Murray bursts into tears. His brother says, “You should...
There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money. He told his wife, "When I die,...
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