Funny Jokes

I’ve tried to keep these jokes short so the dumb blondes and rednecks can understand them

You Might be a Taliban Joke 1
You might be a Taliban if you are amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 2
You might be a Taliban if you bathe at least monthly whether necessary or not.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 3
You might be a Taliban if you believe masturbation is evil but beating your wife is OK.

You Might be a Taliban Joke 4
You might be a Taliban if you can’t have sex with your first wife until she turns 13.

British National Party Joke 1
A former BNP security officer has been fined for naming 12,000 members on the Internet.
Like many of you, I’m also shitting myself that my names popped up

British National Party Joke 2
A member of the BNP was rushed to an NHS hospital following a near fatal car accident.
“I don’t want any chinks, coons or pakis treating me”, he insisted.
Suffice to say, the daft cunt died.

British National Party Joke 3
After a leaked document was published online, BNP members have been targeted by threats.
Well, I’m in the BNP and I think the fucking threats should be sent back to Threatland.

After making a comment on the Barack Obama Jokes page basically about how great it is to be able to poke fun at presidents because we live in safe countries, I realised I can also poke fun at not so democratically elected presidents like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad the Iranian president

So here goes, Funny Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Jokes or funny political quotes to be precise.

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Joke/Quote by Bill Maher
No, it’s sad about Iran, but what do you expect about a country with a government that’s propped up by oil, that’s led by a religious wacko? Kind of like Alaska.

Funny Rude Joke 1
Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 70?
Because she gets a frog in her throat at 69.

Funny Rude Joke 2
Why can’t scientists find a cure for AIDS?
They can’t get the laboratory mice to arse fuck.

Funny Rude Joke 3
Why can’t women read maps?
Because only the male mind can comprehend the concept of 1 inch equals a mile.

Funny Rude Joke 4
Why did dinosaurs have sex under water?
You try to keep five hundred pounds of pussy wet!

Funny Rude Joke 5
Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
He heard the snow blower coming.

Funny Dirty Joke 1
What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo

Funny Dirty Joke 2
What is a lesbian’s favorite thing to eat?
A Klondike Bar

Funny Dirty Joke 3
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an “A” bra.

Funny Dirty Joke 4
What is better than a cold Bud?
A warm bush.

Funny Dirty Joke 5
What is it when a man talks dirty to a woman?
Sexual harassment.

Funny Dirty Joke 6
What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
$3.99 a minute.

Funny Dirty Joke 7
What is the cheapest meat?
Deer balls, there under a buck.

Funny Adult Joke 1
A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits?
The blonde, because she’s 18.

Funny Adult Joke 2
A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but didn’t report it.
The thief was spending less then his wife.

Funny Adult Joke 3
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife’s yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he’s in, he shuts up!

Funny Adult Joke 4
Define “Egghead:”
What Mrs. Dumpty gives to Humpty.

Funny Adult Joke 5
Did ya hear about the new “morning after” pill for men?
It works by changing your blood type!!

Funny Sex Joke 1
Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
He found a hare up his ass.

Funny Sex Joke 2
Did you hear about the gay truckers?
They exchanged loads.

Funny Sex Joke 3
Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.

Funny Sex Joke 4
Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
They went outside to exchange blows

Funny Sex Joke 5
Did you hear about the two gay judges?
They tried each other.

Funny Sex Joke 6
Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?
They kept trying each other.

Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,
With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,
And no sense of self control.

There must have been some poison in that last dime bag he got,
For when he took his first big hit he dropped dead on the spot.

Frosty the cokehead doesn’t worry anymore,
Cuz when all is said, and your cold and dead,
Then you never have to score.

Rudolph the red nosed wino,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you got too close to him,
He would take off his clothes.

All of the other winos,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any wino games.

Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
Rudolph froze to death in an alley.

End of Christmas story.

T’was the night before Christmas – Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have good mind to scrap the whole works

I’ve busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of “Thanks Santa” – what do I hear
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money – The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those a**holes from IRS sent me a letter