Free Funny Jokes Blog

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck’s driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Some more free Doctor Doctor jokes to make you laugh.

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Doctor, Doctor I think I need glasses
You certainly do, Sir, this is a fish and chip shop!
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Doctor, doctor I keep thinking I’m a bee
Buzz off can’t you see I’m busy?
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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee
Have you tried taking the spoon out?
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Doctor, doctor my sister here keeps thinking she’s invisible!
What sister?
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Rating:4/5
Comment: Lot more free, funny, Doctor doctor jokes to come later.

Popularity: 6%

The first set of many Doctor Doctor jokes.
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Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone.
Are you choking?
No, I really did!

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Doctor Doctor I think I’m a moth.
So why did you come around then?
Well, I saw this light at the window…!

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Doctor Doctor I feel like a racehorse.
Take one of these every 4 laps!

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Doctor, Doctor I tend to flush a lot.
Don’t worry it’s just a chain reaction!

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Rating: 3.7
Comment: More of these to come!

Popularity: 6%

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

486: The average IQ needed to understand a PC.
State-of-the-art: Any computer you can’t afford.

Obsolete: Any computer you own.

Microsecond: The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

G3: Apple’s new Macs that make you say ‘Gee, three times faster than the computer I bought for the same price a Microsecond ago.’

Syntax Error: Walking into a computer store and saying, “Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.”

A whole bunch of “you might be an redneck” jokes

You might be a redneck if you think “wind sprints” means running from a fart.

You might be an redneck if the last thing you say is “Hey! Watch this…”

You might be a redneck if your baby’s first words were, “Attention, K-mart shoppers.”

You know you married a redneck when she fills out her family reunion name tag, “Four for a Dollar.”

You might be a redneck if you like to brag you learned to fire a shotgun before you could walk!

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

One day this cop pulls over a blonde for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
”You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.”

Rating: 4/5
Comment: Wouldn’t be surprised if a blondie didn’t know what a driving licence is for.

Popularity: 17%

Some more quick Blonde jokes to make you laugh.

Title: Adventures in Disneyland
Rating: 4/5

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: “Disneyland Left.”
So they went home.

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Title: Confusing Blonde
Rating: 4/5

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You put her in a round room and tell her to sit in a corner.

Q: How does a blonde confuse you?
A: She comes out and says she did.

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Title: 911
Rating: 3.8/5

Here’s a couple quick “Just following instructions” jokes, showing when blondes follow instructions to the key.

Title: Blonde and the Bottle Cap
Rating: 4.6/5

Q: Why did the blonde keep taking off and putting the Pepsi bottle cap back on?
A: Because it said, ”Sorry, try again.”

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Title: Blonderrific Hair!
Rating: 4.5/5

Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?
She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!

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Title: Blonde Puzzle
Rating: 4.5/5

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said “From 2-4 years.”

Brought to you by comedycentral.com
A blonde was at home watching TV with her friends when she heard a noise. She ran out just in time to see a thief drive off in her car.
“Did you see their face?” her friends asked when she came back inside.

“No, but it’s okay — I got the license plate number!”

Rating: 4.1
Comment: Seems like the silly thing a blonde would do, follow the advice of the police to the letter and grab her own licence plate number. Though in the real world this would have come in handy for the police to track the car down.

Excerpt from thejakartapost.com

MOUNT MERAPI, Central Java (AP): As thousands of people flee Indonesia’s erupting Mount Merapi, the 80-year-old man entrusted by Javanese royalty to watch over the volcano’s spirits is going nowhere — and insists the mountain is safe.

“There is no risk,” Maridjan said outside his home just six kilometers from the crater, which was billowing ash and searing hot gas clouds Monday. “I am still waiting here.”
…

He leads yearly ceremonies when rice and flowers are thrown into the crater to appease spirits that he and most other nearby villagers believe live over the mountain, which rises from the heart of Indonesia’s mystical island of Java.
…

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

A blonde was swerving all over the road and driving very badly, so she got pulled over by a cop.

The cop walked up to her window and asked, “Miss, why are you driving so recklessly?”

The blonde said, “I’m sorry sir, but wherever I go, there’s always a tree in front of me and I can’t seem to get away from it!”

The cop looked at her and said, “Lady, that’s your air freshener!”

Brought to you by comedycentral.com

This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say, the help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for “Termination without Cause.”

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee with a caller:

“Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?”

“Yes, well, I’m having trouble with WordPerfect.”

“What sort of trouble?”

“Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.”

“Went away?”

“They disappeared.”

“Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?”