Free Funny Jokes Blog

Cletus called his friend and said, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure it out or how to get it started.”

His friend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

Cletus responded, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Read in full at Jigsaw Puzzle

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The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn’t need its brain any more so it eats it.

It’s rather like

Read in full at Tenure

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An old man is lying on his deathbed with his children, grandchildren, and older great-grandchildren all around, teary-eyed at the approaching finale of a very long and productive life. The old man in is a terminal coma, and the doctors have confirmed that the waiting will be over within the next

Read in full at Strudel

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There where two men in a bulding site. One of them said, “Can you help me find my ear”

The other man said, “Is this it”

The first man replied, “No, mine has got a pencil behind it”

Read in full at Lost an Ear

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A lady who was known as Churchill’s main rival in parliament was giving a speech. Churchill, with his usual enthusiasm for his rival, dozed off while the lady was speaking.

She stopped her speech and awoke Sir Winston by yelling, “Mr. Churchill, must you sleep while I talk?”

Churchill sleepily

Read in full at Churchill\’s Nap

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There once was a man from Yuma,

Who told an elephant joke to a puma,

Now his body lies,

Under the hot desert skies,

For the puma had no sense of huma.

Read in full at Yuma Puma

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There’s a double decker bus driving down the street full of passengers. On the lower level of the bus, everyone’s having a good time, talking, laughing, and singing along to the music playing.

On the upper part of the bus, Maynard is in a panic. He’s screaming, terrified, and holding onto others

Read in full at Double Decker Bus

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Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you’re planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?

I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a

Read in full at Suicide Watch

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10. When filling out your driver’s license application you give your IP address.

9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead your line is “Hi, what’s your URL?”

8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends e-mail.

7. You’re amazed to find out spam is a food.

6

Read in full at 10 signs you\’re an Internet geek

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A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.”

Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?”"Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said

Read in full at Glad to be drunk

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There was a labrador, a dalmation and a doberman in a doggy bar when an attractive girl poodle walks in. She says to the three dogs “Whichever one of you can say the best sentence with liver and cheese in wins a date!”

So the labrador says ” I like cheese but I don’t like liver,” but that wasn’

Read in full at Liver n\’ Cheese Poodle

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I heard that they got all of the Sadam look-alikes together and told them that they have some good news and some bad news.

The good news was that Sadam survived the bombings, so they all still had jobs.

One of the look-alikes asked, “What’s the bad news?”

The bad news, they were told, was that

Read in full at Sadam Look-Alikes

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