- Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew.
- I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
- Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
- I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists.
- I volunteer to be the
Read in full at Things You Never Hear in Church
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My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.
Read in full at Finish What You Start
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A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned.
The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his
Read in full at An Easy Enough Mistake
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The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother asks, “What did you learn today?”
The kid replies, “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
Read in full at Learning Today
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Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.
She moaned to her mom and brother, “Nobody loves me … the whole world hates me!”
Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked
Read in full at Feel Better Now
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The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.
The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails.
The North has
Read in full at North vs. South
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My husband said he wanted a tie for his birthday that would match the color of his eyes. Does anyone know where I can buy a bloodshot tie?
Read in full at Necktie
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One day, a very attractive under graduate visited the professor’s office. The under graduate pulled the chair closer to the professor, smiled at him shyly, bumped his knee “accidentally”, etc.
Finally, the undergraduate said, “Professor, I really need to pass your course. It is extremely
Read in full at Undergraduate
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Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, “Now, I’d like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine.”
Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight members said, “I eat moderately, I drink
Read in full at Health Club
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A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!”
The plumber waited for him
Read in full at Burst Pipe
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The old family physician being away on vacation, entrusted his practice to his son - a recent medical student. When the old man returned, the youngster told him among other things, that he cured Miss Ferguson, an aged and wealthy spinster, of her chronic indigestion.
“My boy,” said the old
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- In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city’s airport property.
- It is illegal for hens to lay eggs before 8 am and after 4 pm in Norfolk, Virginia.
- Ducks quacking after 10 pm in Essex Falls, New Jersey are breaking the law.
- In Quitman, Georgia, it is
Read in full at Strange Animal Laws
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