Thousands of really hilarious jokes
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would suddenly turn off. Each...
There are these two guys driving a car. When the guy driving blows right through the red light."Man, you just ran that red light!", the passenger said."Don't worry, my brother does it all the time,"...
Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand. The lawyer asked, "When you stopped Judi, were your red and blue lights flashing?" "Yes, sir, they were." "Did the...
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and...
- It's impossible to believe that the sperm that created you beat out 1,000,000 others.- The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.- If you were any more stupid, you'd have to be...
Three blokes are driving around, drinking beers and having a laugh when the driver looks in the mirror and sees the flashing lights of a police car telling him to pull over. The other two are...
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder that the oneyou just went through."#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new.They'll stretch after you wear them a while."#14 "If you take your hands...
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later:"Da-ad...""What?""I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?""No. You had your chance. Lights out.""Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad...""WHAT?""I'm THIRSTY...Can I have a...
As a drunk guy staggers out of the bar one Friday evening, a fire engine races past, siren wailing and lights flashing. Immediately, the drunk starts chasing the engine, running as fast as he can...
A Police car pulled alongside a speeding car on the motorway.Glancing at the car he was astonished to see that the blond behind the wheel was knitting!Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights...
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