Thousands of really hilarious jokes
A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car. After looking the man over he says, "Sir, I couldn't help but notice your eyes are bloodshot. Have you...
A man was in a bad accident and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the loss of both ears, which made him very self-conscious. However, he received a large sum of...
A married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks "I notice you've been watching that...
A man was looking around a small gift shop when he came across an amazingly ugly statue of a rat. As he was staring at this statue, the shopkeeper came up to him and began...
In the beginning, God created heaven and earth. Then God said, "Let there be light." Shortly thereafter God was in receipt of a notice to show cause why he shouldn't be cited for failure to file an...
I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. While in the lounge, I notice Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac. I was meeting with a very important client...
George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President...
1. The female always makes the rules.2. The rules can change without notice.3. Males can't know the rules.4. If the female suspects that the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some of...
A guy walks in for his interview. The man who's interviewing has no ears.The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."Interviewer: "Get out! Send...
A guy (we'll call him Aaron) was laying down carpet in some woman's home.As he was finishing, he got a craving for a cigarette.Aaron looked around and discovered that his cigarettes were missing.He did, however,...
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