Sex jokes, not suitable for young children.

Sex Joke 1
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon place for their 25th anniversary.

As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband: “When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”

The husband replied: “All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”

Then, as the wife undressed, she asked: “What are you thinking now?”

He replied: “It looks like I did a pretty good job.”

Please comment on this sex joke below or if you know a better sex joke please post it.

Sex Joke 2
A husband, one bright sunny morning, turns to his lovely wife, “Wife, we’re going fishing this weekend, you, me and the dog.”

The wife grimaces, “But I don’t like fishing!”

“Look! We’re going fishing and that’s final.”

“Do I have to go fishing with you… I really don’t want to go!”

“Right I’ll give you three choices…
1 You come fishing with me and the dog…
2 You give me a BLOW JOB….
3 or you take it up the ass!”

The wife grimaces again, “But I don’t want to do any of those things!”

“Wife I’ve given you three options..

You’ll HAVE to do one of them!

I’m going to the garage to sort out my fishing tackle, when I come back I expect you to have made up your mind!”

The wife sits and thinks about it.

Twenty minutes later her husband comes back, “Well! What have you decided? FISHING with me and the dog, BLOW JOB, or ass?”

The wife complains some more and finally makes up her mind, “O.K. I’ll give you a blow job!”

“Great!” He says and drops his pants.

The wife is on her knees doing the business.

Suddenly she stops, looks up at her Husband, “Oh! It tastes absolutely disgusting… It tastes all shitty!”

“Yes!” says her husband “The dog didn’t want to go fishing either.”

Please comment on this sex joke below or if you know a better sex joke please post it.