Thousands of really hilarious jokes
10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in...
- You can't board the plane unless you have the exact change.- Before you take off, the stewardess tells you to fasten your Velcro.- The Captain asks all the passengers to chip in a little...
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1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.3. The stripes on...
- Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.- The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.- New edition every two years in order to limit...
10. You're so tired, you now answer the phone with "Leave me alone!"9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream,"Stop asking me all these questions!"8. Your garbage can IS your...
- At restaurant-gas stations throughout the nation: "Eat here and get gas." - At a Sante Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container." - In a New Hampshire jewelry store: "Ears...
1. You've read the entire Dilbert page-a-day calendar2. You discover that staring at your cubicle wall long enough produces images of Elvis.3. You've definitively figured out a way to get Gilligan OFF the island.4. You...
- You try to enter your password on the microwave.- You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."- You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.- You have a list...
- You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.- You rotate your...
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