Posted on March 27th, 2008 in
Religious Jokes
There was a long, long line of spirits at the gate waiting to get into heaven. Not all these spirits could fit into heaven, so the ones who died the worst death would be allowed in.
The first man in line started telling his story, “Well, Peter, you see, I knew that my wife was cheating on me so I decided to come home early from work one day to catch them in action.
I got home and searched all over but I couldn''t find him. Then when I walked out onto the balcony, there he was dangling off the darn thing by his fingertips.
So I ran and got a hammer then started beating him with it and he fell. Well, the fall didn't kill him, because he landed in a bush so I picked up the refrigerator and threw it on him.
Although that killed him, the strain gave me a heart attack, and here I am.”
The next man came up and started his story. “St. Peter, I always work out on my balcony on the 14th floor of my apartment building. I was on my bike one day and I fell off when it flipped. I sailed over the rail and I thought ''Please God spare my life'' and he did. I caught on to a balcony below me.
I was even happier when a man discovered me hanging there. But all of a sudden he started beating my hands with a hammer so I fell again. But the dear Lord saved me again when I landed in a bush. But I''m here now because the guy threw his refrigerator on top of me.”
It was now the third guy's turn to start his story. “Well, Peter, just picture this. I'm hiding butt naked in this married chick''s refrigerator…..”
Related posts to The Most Gruesome Death Joke
During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died.With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for...
Death Panel Shirt Political Shirts
T Shirt Type: Political T-Shirts
Death Panel Shirt Political Shirts Price: $16.95
Order Funny T-Shirt - Death Panel now...
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?
I also think about the death...
The Web site you seekcannot be located butcountless others existThree things are certain:Death, taxes, and lost data.Guess which has occurred.Windows NT crashed.I am the Blue Screen of Death.No one hears your screams.Seeing my great fault
Read...
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By death.Q. And by whose death was it terminated?Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?A. No, I said he was...
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?"The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call...
The inmate on death row was scheduled to be put to death by firing squad the follow morning. Throughout the day, the prison guards were being very nice to him. But when they asked him...
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Defense Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Defense Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Defense Attorney: Did you...
After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There, he was greeted by George Washington."How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping...
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. βI want to become a lawyer. How much is it for the express degree you told me about?ββIt's $50,000,β the...
Leave a reply to The Most Gruesome Death Joke