Thousands of really hilarious jokes
At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"The witness stared out the window as...
- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.- If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?- Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now!- When you do a good...
Are you a true elementary school teacher? Let's find out:1. Do you ask guests if they have remembered their scarves and mittens as they leave your home?2. Do you move your dinner partner's glass away...
Q. Do you know how far pregnant you are right now?A. I will be three months November 8th.Q. Apparently then, the date of conception was August 8th?A. Yes.Q. What were you and your husband doing...
1. Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.2. Alfred Hitchcock did not have a bellybutton.3. A pack-a-day smoker will lose approximately 2 teeth every 10 yrs.4. People do not...
Q. Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A. By death.Q. And by whose death was it terminated?Q. Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?A. No, I said he was...
Who doesn't like to see a good faceplant :-) Not aware of what a faceplant is, it's when someone falls over and lands on their face. AKA the face plant. I've scoured Youtube (also known as typing FacePlant...
A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions.The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and...
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: How can...
>>Healthy Question: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? Healthy Answer: Your heart is good for only so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually....
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