Unfamiliar Court Joke

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Funny Things People Said In Court

Funny Court Quote: Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering...

A pickpocket in court

A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes.The judge said, "Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100."The lawyer stood up and said, "Thank you, your honor. My client only has $75...

Old Me

A man was taken to court for stealing an item from a store. The man said to the judge, "Your Honor, I'm a Christian. I've become a new man. But I have and old nature...

Breaking in to an Irishman’s House Joke

An Irishman went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the...

Alimony

Mr. Quinn, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said. "And, I have decided to give your wife $775 a week.""That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now...

Imponderables

- Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?-...

Custody

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court. But the custody of their child posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she...

Smart Thinking

At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern back and forth for nearly a minute. He even stood and convincingly demonstrated how he'd done it....

Letter of the Law

On October 13, 1944, the Durham N. C. Sun Reported that a Durhamite had been brought before a Judge Wison in traffic court for having parked his car on a restricted street right in front of a...

Too Helpful

Working for a Judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminal defendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful.To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedly sold, the judge asked...