Thousands of really hilarious jokes
* Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."* Drum on every available surface.* Sing the Batman theme constantly.* Staple...
* Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".* Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.* While making...
- Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh No!!!" and then hang up.- Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment...
8. Military transport flights now earn you Delta frequent flier miles7. Where else can you shoot guns and get awakened in the middle of the night by loud explosions besides New York, Chicago and Detroit?6....
- Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.- While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and...
- Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.- The Ten Commandments are actually only five, double-spaced, and written in a large font.- New edition every two years in order to limit...
- Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops...
It was the beginning of December. The trip had gone reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other hand had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared...
Four guys are driving across country together - one from Idaho, one from Nebraska, one from Florida, and one from New York. A short ways down the road, the man from Idaho starts to pull potatoes...
A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can.Then suddenly...
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