White Jokes

Here’s some funny white jokes, was quite hard to find these and interestingly people are asking for funny white jokes on forums and places like Yahoo answers only to be called racists and that they shouldn’t be asking for this type of racist jokes!

In comparison there are dedicated sites to black jokes and not seen any complaints on those sites I collected black jokes from (update: getting plenty of complaints at the pages I added Black Jokes to though!).

Also some of these are rehashed black jokes so if you know some really good white jokes PLEASE post it in the comments below.

If you are a white person (AKA a honkey/cracker) reading this and feel offended and want to get back at those damn niggers, there’s a place to do this at Black Jokes where you will find some more poorly written racist jokes with lots of comments.

Back to the racist white jokes…

White Joke 01
How did the white boy come out of the grocery store with a six pack? He walked in and payed for it.

White Joke 02
How do you stop five white guys from raping a white woman? Throw them a golf ball.

White Joke 03
How long does it take for a white women to take a crap? 9 months

White Joke 04
How many white girls does it take to screw in a light? None, white girls can’t screw

White Joke 05
How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, white men will screw anything.

White Joke 06
How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? None They’ll Have a Nigger Do it!

White Joke 07
What did a white guy see when he looked at his family tree? A straight line!

White Joke 08
What did the white man do before his blood test? He studied.

White Joke 09
What did the white woman do after she spilled hot coffee on her legs? File a lawsuit.

White Joke 10
What do Mickey Mouse and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both black people with white faces.

White Joke 11
What do u call a bunch of white people in a bowl? Crackers

White Joke 12
What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane? Snow.

White Joke 13
What do you call a bunch of white guys in a circle? A Dope Ring!

White Joke 14
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? The NBA

White Joke 15
What do you call a mob of white people at the University of Maryland burning down the city? A Maryland championship.

White Joke 16
What do you call a mob of white people in Alabama? A lynching.

White Joke 17
What do you call a mob of white people in Detroit burning down the city? A hockey victory.

White Joke 18
What do you call a white cop? Police brutality.

White Joke 19
What do you call a white guy on “Jeopardy?” A contestant.

White Joke 20
What do you call a white guy who needs to go somewhere across town but does not own an automobile? A taxi.

White Joke 21
What do you call a white man in court? The lawyer.

White Joke 22
What do you call a white man in the ghetto? A victim.

White Joke 23
what do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? Crackers with cheese.

White Joke 24
What do you say when you see a white man carrying a TV? “Excuse me sir, you dropped your receipt!”

White Joke 25
What does a white man do at the club? Pout while all the colored folk are bumpin’ & grindin’ with all of his fine white bitches.

White Joke 26
What does a white man do when he is unhappy with current government decisions? He writes a letter.

White Joke 27
What does a white man say when he catches his wife cheating on him? “I forgive you”

White Joke 28
What does a white woman and a tampon have in common? They’re both stuck up cunts.

White Joke 29
What does a white woman make for dinner? Reservations.

White Joke 30
What’s Orange White and Very Beautiful? A WHITE BOY ON FIRE!

White Joke 31
What’s the difference between a white man and a snake? One is a evil, cold-blooded, venomous, slimy creature of Satan, and the other is a snake

White Joke 32
What’s the difference between a white whore and a bitch? The white whore would screw everybody in the room and the bitch would fuck everyone but you.

White Joke 33
What’s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on? A white girl’s ass!

White Joke 34
What’s white and fourteen inches long? Absolutely nothing!

White Joke 35
White people think T-shirts are underwear.

White Joke 36
Why cant white men jump? They were too busy making racist jokes.

White Joke 37
Why did the white man cross the road? Because he needed something that was on the other side of the road.

White Joke 38
Why did white people own slaves? They were not strong enough to pick cotton – weak bastards.

White Joke 39
Why do so many white people get lost skiing? It’s hard to find them in the snow.

White Joke 40
Why do white people like to play hockey? It’s the only other way to beat something black up if they’re not a cop.

White Joke 41
You know what sucks about being white? Not much, really. I mean, there are starving people in Africa, and all those tsunami victims in Asia…I’d say we’re pretty lucky.

White Joke 42
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, “7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch prick, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown.”

The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy asks.. “What’s wrong with you?”

In a weak voice the little guy says, “What EXACTLY did you say to me?”

The big dude says, “I saw your curious look and figured I’d just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I’m 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch prick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds, my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown.”

The small guy says, “Turner Brown!…Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, “Turn Around!!”

White Joke 43
A black boy is playing in the kitchen and he covers himself in flour. He goes up to his mother and says “Mummy, look at me ! I’m not a little black boy anymore I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His mum slaps him around the head, “Go and tell your Father what you just said !”

So the little black boy, complete with sore cheek walks into the living room and says to his Father “Daddy look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His father kicks him in the balls, “Go and tell your Gran what you just said !”

So the little black boy hobbles into the garden and says to his Gran “Granny look at me ! I’m not a little black boy any more I’m a little white boy!”

WHACK ! His gran punches him in the nose and asks him what he has to say for himself.

Standing there with blood pouring down his face, clutching his balls he says “I’ve only been a white boy for 5 minutes and already I hate niggers!”

White Joke 44
A seventy-five year old White guy, his hair was completely white, marries a twenty-two year old girl, and she gets pregnant.

Nine months later, he walks into the Maternity Ward. He says to the nurse, “Well, how’d I do?”

The nurse says: “She had twins.”

He says, “Heh, heh, heh…well, I guess that goes to show, that even if there’s snow on the roof, there can still be fire in the furnace.”

She says, “Well, then you’d better change filters. Both of the babies are black.”

White Joke 45
What’s white and twelve inches long? Nothing!

More Racist Jokes including over 1,000 very funny Redneck Jokes.

I’ve created a new page on another site called Racist White Jokes that I hope will be used for posting new white jokes via the comments rather than slagging each other off as has occurred in the comments below!