Warning, some of these jokes are not particularly nice, you’ve been warned.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 1
How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 2
How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 3
How do you get a baby out of a tree? You give a Mexican a stick and tell him it’s a piñata!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 4
How do you get a baby to run faster? Chase it with the lawn mower.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 5
How do you know when a baby is a dead baby? The dog plays with it more.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 6
How do you make a baby cry twice? Wipe your bloody cock on his teddy bear.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 7
How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 8
How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 9
How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 10
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine’s Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 11
How do you prevent a baby from exploding in the microwave? Poke holes in it with a coat hanger.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 12
How do you spoil a baby? Leave it out in the sun.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 13
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 14
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it’s head.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 15
How do you stop a baby from choking? Take your dick out of its mouth.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 16
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 17
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel? 4 1/2.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 18
How many dead babies does it take to change a tire? Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it in case it explodes.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 19
How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil? It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 20
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 21
If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, is it still hilarious?

Sick Dead Baby Joke 22
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 23
What do vegetarian ogres eat? Cabbage patch kids.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 24
What do you call a 30 week-old preemie? An Appetizer.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 25
What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 26
What do you call a dead baby pinned to your wall? Art.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 27
What do you call a dead baby with its skin peeled off? Sexy.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 28
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 29
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Bob

Sick Dead Baby Joke 30
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Fucked.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 31
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying in a ditch? Phil.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 32
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on a beach? Sandy.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 33
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on your porch? Matt.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 34
What do you call a dead baby, a rat, 6 week old bread and a gherkin? A Big Mac.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 35
What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor? An erection.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 36
What do you get when you dislocate a dead baby’s jaw? Deep Throat.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 37
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 38
What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender? Hold on. I’ll tell you in a second.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 39
What does a baby and a Pinto have in common? They’re fun to ride until they die.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 40
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 41
What does a bum call a dead baby in a dumpster? A Freeloader.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 42
What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 43
What goes plop, plop, fizz, fizz? Twins in an acid bath.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 44
What happens when you burn baby’s face off? It makes weird noises and crawls into walls.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 45
What has 4 legs and one arm? A Doberman in a children’s playground!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 46
What is better than a dead baby? The revoked child-support.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 47
What is green and sits in a corner? The same baby, six weeks later.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 48
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies? One live one in the middle is eating its way out.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 49
What is pink and red and sits in a corner? A baby chewing on razor blades.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 50
What is red and creeps up your leg? A homesick abortion.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 51
What is red and pink and can’t turn round in a corridor? A baby with a javelin through its throat.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 52
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter

Sick Dead Baby Joke 53
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 54
What is the difference between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don’t stink when you leave it out in the sun

Sick Dead Baby Joke 55
What sits in the kitchen and keeps getting smaller and smaller? A baby combing it’s hair with a potato peeler!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 56
What wiggles spits and is covered in shit? An inside out baby!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 57
What’s 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ? Crib death.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 58
What’s blue and bloated and floating in your beer? A dead baby with fetal alcohol syndrome!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 59
What’s blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 60
What’s blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 61
What’s blue and orange and lies at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with burst armbands.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 62
What’s blue and sits in the corner? A baby in a baggie.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 63
What’s blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 64
What’s bright blue, pink, and sizzles? A baby trying to breast feed from an electrical outlet.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 65
What’s brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 66
What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 67
What’s funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 68
What’s got four wheels, smokes and squeals? A bus load of babies on fire.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 69
What’s grosser than gross? A garbage can full of dead babies.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 70
What’s grosser than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 71
What’s grosser than that? He goes back for more.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 72
What’s grosser than that? He has to eat his way to freedom.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 73
What’s grosser than that? The one at the bottom is still alive.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 74
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 75
What’s more fun than a barrel of dead babies? Sticking pins in their eyes.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 76
What’s more fun than feeling up a dead baby? Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples

Sick Dead Baby Joke 77
What’s more fun than stapling babies to a wall? Ripping them off again.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 78
What’s more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 200km/h? Stopping it with a shovel.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 79
What’s pink and chunky? A baby with leprosy.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 80
What’s pink and red and silver and crawls into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 81
What’s pink and spits? A baby in a frying pan.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 82
What’s present do you get for a dead baby? A dead puppy.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 83
What’s purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 84
What’s red and dances all around? A baby on a barbecue

Sick Dead Baby Joke 85
What’s red and goes round and round? A baby in a garbage disposal.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 86
What’s red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that’s been playing with a chainsaw.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 87
What’s red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 88
What’s red, screams and goes around in circles? A baby with its foot nailed to the floor.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 89
What’s sicker than driving over a baby? Skidding.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 90
What’s small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 91
What’s small, and shiny, and blue? A baby with a plastic baggy over its head.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 92
What’s the best sound in the world? Hearing dead baby’s hips crack under pressure!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 93
What’s the best thing about a Siamese twin baby? Threesomes.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 94
What’s the difference between a baby and a bagel? You can put a bagel in the toaster. You have to put the baby in the oven.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 95
What’s the difference between a baby and a grandmother? Grandmothers don’t die when you fuck them up the ass.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 96
What’s the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts? You can’t gargle gravel.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 97
What’s the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? I don’t have a Cadillac in my garage.

Sick Dead Baby Joke 98
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker? You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker!

Sick Dead Baby Joke 99
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a golden delicious apple? You don’t have to bleed the golden delicious apple before you take a bite out of it

Sick Dead Baby Joke 100
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup? The dead baby won’t stick to the roof of your mouth.

Funny Joker
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