Amish Joke 01
Sign behind an Amish carriage:
“Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats. CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!”
Amish Joke 02
You have just received the Amish virus. Since we have no electricity or computers, you are on the honor system. Please forward this message to everyone in your address book and then delete all files on your hard drive.
Amish Joke 03
How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Amish don’t believe in light bulbs. God will provide light unto the world.
Amish Joke 04
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
Dirty Amish Joke
An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an open buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, “My hands are freezing cold.” The mother replied, “Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up.” So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day, the daughter was riding in the buggy with her boyfriend. The boyfriend said, “My hands are freezing cold.” The daughter said, “Put them between my legs, they’ll warm up.”
The next day, the boyfriend is driving in the buggy with the daughter. He said, “My nose is freezing cold.” The daughter said, “Put it between my legs. It will warm up.” He did, and his nose warmed up. The next day, the boyfriend is driving again with the daughter and he said, “My penis is frozen solid.” The next day, the daughter is driving in the buggy with her mother, and she says to her mother, “Have you ever heard of a penis?” The slightly concerned mother says, “Sure, why do you ask?” The daughter says, “Well, they make one hell of a mess when they thaw out.