Funny Bonfire Night Jokes

Funny Bonfire Night Jokes 1
I walked passed a burnt out building with a broken sign saying “Fireworks”.
How right they were.

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Funny Bonfire Night Jokes 2
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.

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Bonfire Night Jokes

Funny Bonfire Night Jokes 3
A policeman arrested two kids on bonfire night.
One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

He charged one and let the other one off!

Funny Bonfire Night Jokes 4
How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire?
Both of them.

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Funny Bonfire Night Jokes 5
How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box on November 5th to start your Guy Fawkes bonfire?

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Bonfire Night Jokes

Bonfire Night Jokes 1
How many Mafia hitmen does it take to light the bonfire?
Three, One to set fire to the effigy, one to watch his back, and one to shoot any witnesses.

Bonfire Night Jokes 2
They say that you should never go back to a firework once lit.
Our garden has been out of bounds since 1990.

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Bonfire Night Jokes 3
Latecomer: Am I too late for the bonfire?
Host: No jump up there on the sticks, there is room next to that Guy.

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Bonfire Night Jokes 4
How many Microsoft programmers does it take to start the November 5th bonfire?
Zero Microsoft declares darkness to be a new standard.

Bonfire Night Jokes 5
The November 5th Gunpowder Plot has been described as the 9/11 of its day.
Staged by the government to discredit an entire religion.

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Guy Fawkes Jokes

Guy Fawkes Jokes 1
How come the village Guy Fawkes won the Nobel Peace Prize?
Cause he was outstanding in his field.

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Guy Fawkes Jokes 2
In 1605 Guy Fawkes, plotted to kill King James I by blowing up the Houses of Parliament (the Gunpowder Plot).

Since then England has commemorated the event, on 5th November, with bonfires and fireworks.
Occasionally, over the last few years, you will hear people ask “Where is Guy Fawkes when you really need him?”

Guy Fawkes Jokes 3
The last person to enter parliament with honest intentions was Guy Fawkes on 5th November 1605.

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Guy Fawkes Jokes 4
Here it is again, November 5th AKA: Bonfire night.

The one night of the year when the whole of the UK comes together with the lighting of bonfires, the letting off of fireworks and the burning of an effigy of Guy Fawkes, in celebration of the last time the British Government found Weapons of Mass Destruction.

English Folk Verse – 1870 : The Fifth of November

Remember, remember!
The fifth of November,
The Gunpowder treason and plot;

I know of no reason
Why the Gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot!

Guy Fawkes and his companions
Did the scheme contrive,
To blow the King and Parliament
All up alive.

Threescore barrels, laid below,
To prove old England’s overthrow.

But, by God’s providence, him they catch,
With a dark lantern, lighting a match!

A stick and a stake
For King James’s sake!

If you won’t give me one,
I’ll take two,
The better for me,
And the worse for you.

A rope, a rope, to hang the Pope,
A penn’orth of cheese to choke him,
A pint of beer to wash it down,
And a jolly good fire to burn him.

Holloa, boys! holloa, boys! make the bells ring!

Holloa, boys! holloa boys! God save the King!

Hip, hip, hooor-r-r-ray!

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