Dead Baby Joke 1
How can you play football with a dead baby?
Just as you play it with a football.
Dead Baby Joke 2
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it’s head.
Dead Baby Joke 3
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Dead Baby Joke 4
What do you get when you nail a dead baby to a wall?
I don’t know about you, but I get an erection…
Dead Baby Joke 5
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
Baby in a trash compactor.
Dead Baby Joke 6
What has 4 legs and one arm?
A Doberman in a children’s playground!
Dead Baby Joke 7
What’s blue and flies through the room?
Baby with a punctured lung.
Dead Baby Joke 8
What’s blue and thrashes about the room?
Baby in a garbage bag.
Dead Baby Joke 9
What’s blue, yellow, and sinks?
Baby with slashed floaties.
Dead Baby Joke 10
What’s bubbly and scratches on the glass?
A dead baby in a microwave.
Dead Baby Joke 11
What’s funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown costume!
Dead Baby Joke 12
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree?
Nailing it to a dead puppy.
Dead Baby Joke 13
What’s more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
Dead Baby Joke 14
What’s more fun than strapping a baby to a clothesline and then spinning it around at 50mph?
Stopping it with a shovel
Dead Baby Joke 15
What’s pink and cant turn round in a corridor?
A baby with a spear through its head.
Dead Baby Joke 16
What’s present do you get for a dead baby?
A dead puppy
Dead Baby Joke 17
What’s red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion!!
Dead Baby Joke 18
What’s sicker than driving over a baby?
Dead Baby Joke 19
What’s the difference between a cup of gravel and a cup of placenta?
You can’t gargle the gravel!
Dead Baby Joke 20
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a felt tip marker?
You don’t get second looks when you’re writing with a felt tip marker!
Dead Baby Joke 21
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a peanut butter cup?
The dead baby won’t stick to the roof of your mouth.
Dead Baby Joke 22
What’s the difference between a dead baby and a sandwhich?
You don’t have sex with a sandwhich before you eat it.
Dead Baby Joke 23
What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
Dead Baby Joke 24
What’s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can’t unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.
Dead Baby Joke 25
What’s worse than finding a dead baby in a bin?
Finding a dead baby in 10 bins.
Dead Baby Joke 26
What’s worse than smoking pot with a baby?
Making a bong out of it
Dead Baby Joke 27
What’s yellow, red, and floats?
Floaties with a slashed baby.
Dead Baby Joke 28
When’s the best time to bury that baby you killed?
When it starts talking to you again.
Dead Baby Joke 29
Why did the baby fall off the swing?
Because it had no arms or legs.
Dead Baby Joke 30
Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.
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