Bath Joke 1
How do vampire football players get the mud off? They all get in the bat-tub.
Bath Joke 2
Which villains steal soap from the bath? Robber ducks.
Bath Joke 3
Boy: Dad, dad, there’s a spider in the bath. Dad: What’s wrong with that? You’ve seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!
Bath Joke 4
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time I d drunk the bath there wasn’t room for medicine.
Bath Joke 5
The plumber was working in a house when the lady of the house said to him, “Will it be alright if I have a bath while you re having your lunch?” “It’s okay with me lady,” said the plumber, “as long as you don’t splash my sandwiches.”
Bath Joke 6
Robot: I have to dry my feet carefully after a bath. Monster: Why? Robot: Otherwise I get rusty nails.
Bath Joke 7
Dr Frankenstein: I’ve just invented something that everyone in the world will want! You know how you get a nasty ring around the bathtub every time you use it, and you have to clean the ring off? Igor: Yes, I hate it. Dr Frankenstein: Well, you need never have a bathtub ring again! I’ve invented the square tub . . .
Bath Joke 8
Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, “Would you like a plug for it?” The idiot replied, “Oh, I didn’t know it was electric.”
Bath Joke 9
Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please? Porter: I can give you a room, but you ll have to wash yourself.
Bath Joke 10
Mom: Joe, time for your medicine. Joe: I ll run the bath then. Mom: Why? Joe: Because on the bottle it says “to be taken in water.”
Bath Joke 11
Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.
Bath Joke 12
Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You do? Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!
Bath Joke 13
Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I don’t need another bath until I m sixty-five?
Bath Joke 14
Why did the bank robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.
Bath Joke 15
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadn’t had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
Bath Joke 16
Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water, personally.
Bath Joke 17
Are you going to take a bath? No, I m leaving it where it is.
Bath Joke 18
My mother says I look just like an animal when I m in the bath – a little bear.
Bath Joke 19
Mum, does God use the bathroom? No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, Oh, God, are you still in there?
Bath Joke 20
Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. “Where have you been?” demanded the worried look out. “The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn’t find the soap and a towel.”
Bath Joke 21
What’s the difference between a peeping Tom and someone Who’s just got out of the bath? One is rude and nosey. The other is nude and rosey!
Bath Joke 22
Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !
Bath Joke 23
May: What position does your brother play in the school football team ? Jay: I think he’s one of the drawbacks !
Bath Joke 24
Ned: Boy! Was I ever in hot water last night ! Ed: You were? What did you do ? Ned: I took a bath !
Bath Joke 25
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. Can you give me a room and bath? he asked the clerk. I can give you a room, the clerk said. But you ll have to take the bath by yourself!
Bath Joke 26
What kind of bath can you take without water? A sun bath.
Bath Joke 27
When a dirty kid has finished taking a bath, what is still dirty? The bathtub.
Bath Joke 28
Where does a vampire take a bath? In the bat-room (bathroom).
Bath Joke 29
What criminal doesn’t take baths? A dirty crook.
Bath Joke 30
Why did the robber take a bath? So he could make a clean getaway.
Bath Joke 31
What do you call the ring that worms leave round the bath ? The scum of the earth !
Bath Joke 32
What dog loves to take bubble baths ? A shampoodle !
Bath Joke 33
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath ? A little bear !
Bath Joke 34
Which birds steal soap from the bath ? Robber ducks !
Bath Joke 35
How do you know that there’s a monster in your bath? You can’t get the shower curtain closed.
Bath Joke 36
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ? After a week he was spotless !