Cannibal Joke 1
Why don’t cannibals eat comedians? They taste funny.
Cannibal Joke 2
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle’s wife? He was an aunteater.
Cannibal Joke 3
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
Cannibal Joke 4
When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days.
Cannibal Joke 5
What does a cannibal eat with cheese? Pickled organs.
Cannibal Joke 6
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give him a helping hand.
Cannibal Joke 7
What happened when the cannibals ate a comedian? They had a feast of fun.
Cannibal Joke 8
What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
Cannibal Joke 9
What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy? Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Cannibal Joke 10
What did the cannibal say when he was full? I couldn’t eat another mortal.
Cannibal Joke 11
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
Cannibal Joke 12
What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.
Cannibal Joke 13
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf? He became a vegetarian.
Cannibal Joke 14
What is a cannibal’s favorite food? Baked Beings.
Cannibal Joke 15
Why did the cannibal live on his own? He was fed up with other people.
Cannibal Joke 16
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, “So that I can feed my lads with m lasses.”
Cannibal Joke 17
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people’s heads? Because they re headcases.
Cannibal Joke 18
What happened when a cannibal went on a self-catering holiday? He ate himself.
Cannibal Joke 19
First cannibal: I can’t find anything to eat! Second cannibal: But the jungle’s full of people. First cannibal: Yes, but they re all very unsavory.
Cannibal Joke 20
Did you hear about the cannibals who captured a scrawny old hunter? It sure gave them something to chew over.
Cannibal Joke 21
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Cannibal Joke 22
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other “I don’t like your friend.” The other one said, “Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables.”
Cannibal Joke 23
The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace. “For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful.”
Cannibal Joke 24
Well, children, said the cannibal cooking teacher. “What did you make of the new English teacher?” “Burgers, ma am.”
Cannibal Joke 25
Two cannibals were having lunch. “Your wife makes a great soup,” said one to the other. “Yes!” agreed the first. “But I m going to miss her terribly.”
Cannibal Joke 26
First Cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night? Second Cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper.
Cannibal Joke 27
Did you hear about the cannibal who joined the police force? He said he wanted to grill his suspects.
Cannibal Joke 28
Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.
Cannibal Joke 29
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man’s turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, “To hell with your canoes!”
Cannibal Joke 30
A cannibal son and his father are out looking for food. They are watching people walk down the street. The son suggested a particularly plump woman and the father rejected saying that she’s too fatty. Later on the son asked about a very skinny woman. Again the father refused saying that she’s to skinny. After a while the son pointed out a very attractive woman.” sure son” the father replied, drooling. “We ll take her home and eat you mother!”
Cannibal Joke 31
Q. What did the cannibal’s wife give her husband when he came home late for dinner? A. The cold shoulder.
Cannibal Joke 32
First cannibal: We had burglars last night. Second cannibal: Did they taste good?
Cannibal Joke 33
First cannibal: I don’t know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry?
Cannibal Joke 34
The cannibal king was having dinner when a servant came running in. “Your Majesty,” he said, “the slaves are revolting!” “You don’t have to tell me,” said the king. “I m trying to eat them. “Where did we get these slaves anyway?” “From the country next door,” replied the servant. “We must get a new butcher,” said the king. “Bring me Delia Smith.” “We can t, Your Majesty, she’s still cooking for you.” “Well, bring her to me once she’s crispy enough,” said the king.
Cannibal Joke 35
What does a cannibal call a skateboarder? Meals on wheels.
Cannibal Joke 36
What is the cannibals favorite game? Swallow my Leader.
Cannibal Joke 37
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride.
Cannibal Joke 38
Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn’t stop eating swedes.
Cannibal Joke 39
Cannibal Boy: I’ve brought a friend home for dinner. Cannibal Mom: Put him in the fridge and we ll have him tomorrow.
Cannibal Joke 40
A cannibal chief was just about to stew his latest victim for dinner when the man protested, “You can’t eat me ? I m the manager!” “Well,” said the cannibal, “soon you ll be a manager in chief.”
Cannibal Joke 41
First cannibal: My wife’s a tough old bird. Second cannibal: You should have left her in the oven for another half an hour.
Cannibal Joke 42
A cannibal’s dillema: If God didn’t want us to eat people, why did he make them out of meat?
Cannibal Joke 43
A man is captured by cannibals, every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food.Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, “Hey, you can kill me or you can eat me, but I m tired of getting stuck for drinks!”
Cannibal Joke 44
Cannibal: Mom, mom, I’ve been eating a missionary and I feel sick ! Mom: Well, you know what they say – you can’t keep a good man down !
Cannibal Joke 45
Was the principal’s brother really a missionary? He certainly was. He gave the people of the Cannibal Islands their first taste of Christianity !
Cannibal Joke 46
When a plane caught fire over the jungle the pilot ejected and landed in a cannibal’s pot. The cannibal turned to his friend and said, What’s this flier doing in my soup?
Cannibal Joke 47
1st Cannibal: I don’t know what to make of my boyfriend these days. 2nd Cannibal: How about a hotpot ?
Cannibal Joke 48
What did the cannibal’s parents say when she brought her boyfriend home ? Lovely, dear, he looks good enough to eat!
Cannibal Joke 49
First cannibal: Who was that girl I saw you with last night ? Second cannibal: That was no girl, that was my supper !
Cannibal Joke 50
Two cannibals were having lunch. Your girlfriend makes a great soup, said one to the other. Yes! agreed the first. But, U m going to miss her terribly.
Cannibal Joke 51
Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other, I don’t like your friend. The other one replied, Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.
Cannibal Joke 52
Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend? She didn’t suit his taste!
Cannibal Joke 53
What did the cannibal have for lunch? Baked beings (beans).
Cannibal Joke 54
How can you help a starving cannibal? Give them a hand !
Cannibal Joke 55
What’s the definition of a cannibal? Some who goes into a restaurant and orders a waiter!
Cannibal Joke 56
What do cannibal say when they say grace? We thank you,Lord, for our daily dead!
Cannibal Joke 57
What did the cannibal say to the explorer? Nice to meat you !
Cannibal Joke 58
What do pygmy cannibals eat for breakfast? Weedie Bix!!
Cannibal Joke 59
What happened when the cannibal crossed the Atlantic on the QE2? He told the waiter to take the menu away and bring him the passenger list!
Cannibal Joke 60
Why don’t cannibals like to eat Carl Lewis? He gives them runs!
Cannibal Joke 61
Why won’t cannibals eat Frank Sinatra? Because he’s always coming back!
Cannibal Joke 62
What do sick cannibals have for breakfast? Vitamin bills!
Cannibal Joke 63
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
Cannibal Joke 64
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
Cannibal Joke 65
Why didn’t the cannibal eat Mike Tyson? He thought he would give him a paunch!
Cannibal Joke 66
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary’s ear? He had his first taste of Christianity!
Cannibal Joke 67
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said So that I can feed my lads with m lasses!
Cannibal Joke 68
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
Cannibal Joke 69
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village ? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
Cannibal Joke 70
What happened to the cannibal lion? He had to swallow his pride!
Cannibal Joke 71
Why do cannibals make suitcases out of peoples heads? Because they re headcases !
Cannibal Joke 72
What happened to the entertainer who did a show for the cannibals ? He went down really well !
Cannibal Joke 73
First cannibal: Come and have dinner in our but tonight. Second cannibal: What are you having? First cannibal: Hard-boiled legs.
Cannibal Joke 74
First Cannibal: “Have you seen the dentist?” Second Cannibal: “Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time.”
Cannibal Joke 75
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.