Elephant Joke 1
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
Elephant Joke 2
We re going to play elephants and circuses, said a little boy at kindergarten, Do you want to join in? I d love to, replied the teacher. What do you want me to do?
Elephant Joke 3
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ? So he could hide in the cherry tree !
Elephant Joke 4
What do you call an elephant that flies ? A jumbo jet !
Elephant Joke 5
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !
Elephant Joke 6
How does an elephant get down from a tree ? He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !
Elephant Joke 7
Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours? Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !
Elephant Joke 8
Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ? Because they couldn’t hold their trunks up !
Elephant Joke 9
Why does an elephant wear sneakers ? So that he can sneak up on mice !
Elephant Joke 10
What’s grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ? A jet propelled elephant !
Elephant Joke 11
What’s big and grey and wears a mask ? The elephantom of the opera !
Elephant Joke 12
What’s grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn’t get wet ? An elephant with an umbrella !
Elephant Joke 13
What’s grey and never needs ironing ? A drip dry elephant !
Elephant Joke 14
What’s grey and goes round and round ? An elephant in a washing machine !
Elephant Joke 15
What’s big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ? The Loch Ness Elephant !
Elephant Joke 16
What’s yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ? An elephant disguised as a banana !
Elephant Joke 17
What’s big and grey and protects you from the rain ? An umbrellaphant !
Elephant Joke 18
What’s big, grey and flies straight up ? An elecopter !
Elephant Joke 19
What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ? An elephant holding its breath !
Elephant Joke 20
What’s blue and has big ears ? An elephant at the North Pole !
Elephant Joke 21
What’s grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ? An elephant with hiccups !
Elephant Joke 22
What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ? An elephant in a lift !
Elephant Joke 23
What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ? An elephant with spare parts !el
Elephant Joke 24
What’s as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ? An elephant’s shadow !
Elephant Joke 25
What’s grey and lights up ? An electric elephant !
Elephant Joke 26
What’s grey but turns red ? An embarrassed elephant !
Elephant Joke 27
What’s grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill ? A get wellephant !
Elephant Joke 28
What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants ? The tusk fairy !
Elephant Joke 29
What’s grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers ? Cinderelephant !
Elephant Joke 30
What’s the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !
Elephant Joke 31
What’s the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ? One rarely bites and the other barely writes !
Elephant Joke 32
How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ? Try picking them up !
Elephant Joke 33
What’s the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ? You can’t make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !
Elephant Joke 34
What’s the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ? One is a weak one and the other one week !
Elephant Joke 35
What’s the difference between an elephant and a banana ? Have you ever tried to peel an elephant ?
Elephant Joke 36
Why are elephants grey ? So you can tell them from flamingos !
Elephant Joke 37
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ? About 3,000 miles !
Elephant Joke 38
What’s the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ? A gooseberry is green !
Elephant Joke 39
What pill would you give to an elephant that can’t sleep ? Trunkquilizers !
Elephant Joke 40
A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said, “You know you really need help” “Yes I do”, said the elephant, “get this kid off my foot !”
Elephant Joke 41
What kind of elephants live in Antartica ? Cold ones !
Elephant Joke 42
Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they would look silly carrying suitcases !
Elephant Joke 43
How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !
Elephant Joke 44
How does an elephant get out of a small car ? The same way that he got in !
Elephant Joke 45
Why did the elephant cross the road ? Because the chicken was having a day off !
Elephant Joke 46
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn’t pay his bill ? “Pack your trunk and clear out !”
Elephant Joke 47
How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ? Take all the matches out first !
Elephant Joke 48
What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ? Nothing, it just let out a little wine !
Elephant Joke 49
How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ? You get very lumpy ice cream !
Elephant Joke 50
Why are elephants wiser than chickens ? Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!
Elephant Joke 51
Why do elephants eat raw food ? Because they don’t know how to cook !
Elephant Joke 52
Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ? He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines !
Elephant Joke 53
Why did the elephant eat the candle ? For light refreshment !
Elephant Joke 54
When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ? When it’s a baby elephant !
Elephant Joke 55
How do you know that peanuts are fattening ? Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?
Elephant Joke 56
What do you call an elephant that can’t do sums ? Dumbo !
Elephant Joke 57
Bill:”My homework is really difficult tonight, I’ve to write an essay on an elephant.”? Bert:”Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder..”
Elephant Joke 58
Why do elephants do well in school ? Because they have a lot of grey matter !
Elephant Joke 59
Teacher:”To which family does the elephant belong ?” Pupil:”I don’t know, nobody I know owns one !”
Elephant Joke 60
Teacher: “Name six wild animals” Pupil:”Four elephants and two lions !”
Elephant Joke 61
Teacher: “Where would you find an elephant ?” Pupil:”You don’t have to find them, they re too big to lose !”
Elephant Joke 62
Tarzan was tired when he came home. “What have you been doing”, asked Jane. “Chasing a herd of elephants on vines” “Really ?”, said Jane. “I thought elephants stayed on the ground !”
Elephant Joke 63
What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ? Get a tame one and annoy it !
Elephant Joke 64
What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming ? Here come the elephants
Elephant Joke 65
What’s the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ? On television !
Elephant Joke 66
Why don’t elephants like playing cards in the jungle ? Because of all the cheetahs !
Elephant Joke 67
What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ? Anything you want as he can’t hear you !
Elephant Joke 68
What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court ? Annette !
Elephant Joke 69
What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ? Russell !
Elephant Joke 70
What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it’s sweater ? Warren !
Elephant Joke 71
What do you call the rabbit up the elephant’s sweater ? Terrified !
Elephant Joke 72
How to elephants talk to each other ? By elephone !
Elephant Joke 73
What do you give an elephant with big feet ? Plenty of room !
Elephant Joke 74
Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they’ve no pockets to put things in !
Elephant Joke 75
What animals were last to leave the ark ? The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !
Elephant Joke 76
What do you find in an elephants graveyard ? Elephantoms !
Elephant Joke 77
What is stronger an elephant or a snail ? A snail, because it carries it’s house, an elephant just carries its trunk !
Elephant Joke 78
What do you do with old cannon balls ? Give them to elephants to use as marbles !
Elephant Joke 79
What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !
Elephant Joke 80
Who lost a herd of elephants ? Big bo peep !
Elephant Joke 81
What is an elephants favourite film ? Elephantasia
Elephant Joke 82
What do elephants say as a compliment ? You look elephantastic !
Elephant Joke 83
What did the elephant say to the famous detective ? It’s ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock !
Elephant Joke 84
Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ? To stop getting wet !
Elephant Joke 85
What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ? Six weeks old !
Elephant Joke 86
What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ? This is the end of me !
Elephant Joke 87
What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ? An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !
Elephant Joke 88
What do elephants sing at christmas ? Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants…
Elephant Joke 89
Who do elephants get their christmas presents from ? Elephanta Claus !
Elephant Joke 90
How do you hire an elephant ? Stand it on four bricks !
Elephant Joke 91
My elephants got no trunk ? How does it smell ? Terrible !
Elephant Joke 92
How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ? Take away it’s credit cards !
Elephant Joke 93
What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ? Out of the way !
Elephant Joke 94
Why do the elephants have short tails ? Because they can’t remember long stories !
Elephant Joke 95
Why is an elephant braver than a hen ? Because the elephant isn’t chicken !
Elephant Joke 96
What is worse than raining cats and dogs ? Raining elephants !
Elephant Joke 97
How do you raise a baby elephant ? With a fork lift truck !
Elephant Joke 98
Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful? Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time !
Elephant Joke 99
Reports are coming in of an elephant doing a ton in the highway. Police ask motorists to drive carefully and to yield right of way.
Elephant Joke 100
How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all, you get a very large loaf…
Elephant Joke 101
How does an elephant go up a tree? It stands on an acorn and waits for it to grow.
Elephant Joke 102
What do you get if you cross an elephant with the abominable snowman? A jumbo yeti.
Elephant Joke 103
Why did the gum cross the road? Because it was under the elephants foot.
Elephant Joke 104
What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee? A sheep.
Elephant Joke 105
Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they re easier to get at the ballpark.
Elephant Joke 106
Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkly? Because if they were small round and white, they would be aspirins.
Elephant Joke 107
Why don’t elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?
Elephant Joke 108
Why do elephants live in the jungle? Because it’s out of the high rent district.
Elephant Joke 109
Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it d be very difficult to aim.
Elephant Joke 110
Why do elephants jump across rivers? So they won’t step on the fish.
Elephant Joke 111
Why did the elephant eat the candle? He wanted a light snack!
Elephant Joke 112
Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!
Elephant Joke 113
Two elephants jumped off a cliff……. BOOM BOOM!
Elephant Joke 114
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle so the Elephants decided to challenge the Ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the Elephants beating the Ants ten goals to nil, when the Ants gained possession. The Ants star player was dribbling the ball towards the Elephants goal when the Elephants left back came lumbering towards him. The elephant trod on the little ant, killing him instantly. The referee stopped the game. “What the hell do you think you re doing? Do you call that sportsmanship, killing another player?” The elephant replied, “Well, I didn’t mean to kill him — I was just trying to trip him up.”
Elephant Joke 115
An elephant was walking in a park. With each step he took, he squished many little ants. Upset, the ants began to crawl up on the elephant — first his legs and then up all over his body. When the elephant started feeling all the little ants on him, he shook hard, making all the little ants, except for one, fall to the ground. As the only ant on the elephant hung on close to the elephant’s neck, the ones on the ground began to yell, “Strangle him!!! Strangle him!!!”