Face Joke 1
What is grey and hairy and lives on a man’s face? A mousetache.
Face Joke 2
Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. “What’s that for?” she asked. “To make me beautiful,” came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. “Doesn’t work, does it?” was her comment.
Face Joke 3
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter? The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.
Face Joke 4
Fred: You have the face of a saint. Jill: Really? Which one? Fred: A Saint Bernard.
Face Joke 5
Fred: You’ve got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No, it’s roamin all over your face.
Face Joke 6
Two boys were watching TV when the fabulous face and figure of Pamela Anderson appeared on the screen. “if I ever stop hating girls,” said one to the other, “I think I ll stop hating her first.”
Face Joke 7
I never forget a face, but in your case I ll make an exception.
Face Joke 8
Did you hear about the witch who was so ugly that when a tear rolls down her cheek it takes one look at her face and rolls straight up again?
Face Joke 9
Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It’s so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she’s stopped laughing her face is still smiling!
Face Joke 10
Wife to Husband: I ll have you know I’ve got the face of a teenager! Husband to Wife: Then you should give it back, you re wearing it out.
Face Joke 11
Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don’t worry, I don’t expect anyone will notice.
Face Joke 12
Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle? Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.
Face Joke 13
You can read his mind in his face. Yes, it’s usually a complete blank.
Face Joke 14
First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face. Second Witch: It’s because he’s a hoptimist.
Face Joke 15
How did your mom know you hadn’t washed your face? I forgot to wet the soap.
Face Joke 16
Boy monster: You’ve got a face like a million dollars ! Girl monster: Have I really ? Boy monster: Yes – it’s green and wrinkly !
Face Joke 17
My teacher’s got a pretty face if you can read between the lines.
Face Joke 18
Counselor: Wash your face. I can see what you had for breakfast. Henry: If you re so smart, what did I have? Counselor: Eggs. Henry: Wrong. I had eggs yesterday!
Face Joke 19
What is the hottest part of a man’s face? His sideburns.
Face Joke 20
Why is your nose in the middle of your face? Because it is the scenter (centre).
Face Joke 21
Why is your face all scratched ? My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really, she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !
Face Joke 22
Why did the pig have ink all over his face? Because it came out of the pen.
Face Joke 23
I don’t know where you got your face from, but i hope you have the receipt.
Face Joke 24
Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died. “Congregation,” the priest said before the assembled masses. “Does anybody know this boy’s name? Because I don’t know him, but his face rings a bell.”
Face Joke 25
Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!
Face Joke 26
Mommy, all the kids at school say I”m a werewolf! Is that true? “No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face.”
Face Joke 27
Teacher: What a glum face, what would you say if I came to school with a face like yours ? Pupil: I d be too polite to mention it !
Face Joke 28
Witch: Doctor, I can’t help pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Well there’s nothing terrible about that. Witch: It is when the people with ugly faces don’t like them being pulled.
Face Joke 29
A little boy came running into the kitchen. “Dad, dad,” he said, “there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face.” “Tell him you’ve already got one,” said his father.
Face Joke 30
Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars. Girl: Have I really? Boy: Yes ? it’s green and wrinkly.
Face Joke 31
Fred’s new girlfriend uses such greasy lipstick that he has to sprinkle his face with sand to get a better grip.
Face Joke 32
A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip. “When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,” she said. “Why, was he disappointed with the view?” “No, he fell over the edge.”