Ghost Joke 1
How did the ghost song-and-dance act make a living? By appearing in television spooktaculars.
Ghost Joke 2
What did the papa ghost say to the baby ghost. Fasten your sheet belt.
Ghost Joke 3
What do you call a ghost that stays out all night? Afresh air freak.
Ghost Joke 4
Why did the ghost go to the funfair. He wanted to go on the rollerghoster.
Ghost Joke 5
Why did the ghost work at Scotland Yard? He was the Chief In-Spectre.
Ghost Joke 6
What do you call the ghost who is a child-rearing expert? Dr Spook.
Ghost Joke 7
Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.
Ghost Joke 8
What happened when a ghost asked for a brandy at his local pub? The landlord said “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits.”
Ghost Joke 9
What is a ghost boxer called? A phantomweight.
Ghost Joke 10
What happened to the ghost who went to a party? He had a wail of a time.
Ghost Joke 11
Did you hear about the ghost comedian? He was booed off stage.
Ghost Joke 12
Did you hear about the ghost who learnt to fly? He was pleased to be back on terror-firma.
Ghost Joke 13
Did you hear about the ghost who enjoyed doing housework? He used to go round with the oooo-ver.
Ghost Joke 14
A man was staying in a big old house and in the middle of the night he met a ghost. The ghost said, “I have been walking these corridors for 300 years.” The man said, “in that case, can you tell me the way to the toilet?”
Ghost Joke 15
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
Ghost Joke 16
What are pupils at ghost schools called? Ghoulboys and ghoulgirls.
Ghost Joke 17
What do you get is you cross a ghost with a packet of potato chips? Snacks that go crunch in the night.
Ghost Joke 18
What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall? The nightmayor.
Ghost Joke 19
Woman in bed: Aaagh! Aaagh! A ghost just floated into my room! Ghost: Don’t worry, ma am, I m just passing through.
Ghost Joke 20
What did one ghost say to another? I m sorry, but I just don’t believe in people.
Ghost Joke 21
What do you call a ghost Who’s always sleeping? Lazy bones.
Ghost Joke 22
Who said “Shiver me timbers!” on the ghost ship? The skeleton crew.
Ghost Joke 23
What do young ghosts write their homework in? Exorcise books.
Ghost Joke 24
A butler came running into his important master’s office. “Sir, sir, there’s a ghost in the corridor. What shall I do with him?” Without looking up from his work the master said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
Ghost Joke 25
Ghost: Are you coming to my party? Spook: Where is it? Ghost: In the morgue – you know what they say, the morgue the merrier.
Ghost Joke 26
Which ghost ate too much porridge? Ghouldilocks.
Ghost Joke 27
Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough.
Ghost Joke 28
How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat? You use a spirit level.
Ghost Joke 29
What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost? Spook when you re spooken to.
Ghost Joke 30
What is a ghost’s favorite Wild West town? Tombstone.
Ghost Joke 31
When do ghosts play tricks on each other? On April Ghoul’s Day
Ghost Joke 32
Why don’t ghosts make good magicians. You can see right through their tricks.
Ghost Joke 33
What sort of violin does a ghost play? A dreadivarius.
Ghost Joke 34
Which day of the week do ghosts like best? Moandays.
Ghost Joke 35
Why were the ghosts wet and tired? They had just dread-ged the lake.
Ghost Joke 36
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
Ghost Joke 37
One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own buisiness, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks “yeah, what do you want?”. The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice “I’ve lost my tail…… and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on”. At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog….. “Sorry, but we don’t re-tail spirits at this time of night”.
Ghost Joke 38
Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane.
Ghost Joke 39
Q: What directions did the ghost give the goblin? A: “Make a fright turn at the corner.”
Ghost Joke 40
What do ghosts say when a girl footballer is sent off ? Ban-she, ban-she !
Ghost Joke 41
This girl wanted to marry a ghost. I can’t think what possessed her.
Ghost Joke 42
Where would you take a ghost for lunch? Pizza Haunt!
Ghost Joke 43
Why are haunted houses so noisy in April? That’s when the ghosts do their spring screaming!
Ghost Joke 44
Student l: “Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?” Student 2: “They are?” Student 1: “Sure. It’s in the Bill of Frights!”
Ghost Joke 45
What do you call a ghost at midnight? A sheet in the dark!
Ghost Joke 46
What did the little ghost eat for lunch? A booloney sandwich!
Ghost Joke 47
How did the bootician style the ghost’s hair? With a scare dryer!
Ghost Joke 48
Why is a ghost like an empty house? Because there’s no body there!
Ghost Joke 49
What Central American country has the most spooks? Ghosta Rica!
Ghost Joke 50
Did you hear about the ghost who went on safari? He was a big-game haunter!
Ghost Joke 51
What European capital has the most ghosts? Boodapest!
Ghost Joke 52
What is the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car? They fasten their sheet (seat) belts.
Ghost Joke 53
What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play? “Don’t get your sheets dirty!”
Ghost Joke 54
How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint? He gets pale as a sheet.
Ghost Joke 55
Why was the ghost of Anne Boleyn always running after the ghost of Henry VIII ? She was trying to get ahead !
Ghost Joke 56
What kind of street does a ghost like best? A dead end.
Ghost Joke 57
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Boo ! Boo who ? Just Boo ! I m a ghost !
Ghost Joke 58
What do ghosts watch if they want to relax? Skelly-vision!
Ghost Joke 59
What’s a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival? The roller ghosted.
Ghost Joke 60
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? Hoblin Goblin.
Ghost Joke 61
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
Ghost Joke 62
Where does a ghost refuel his Porsche? At a ghastly station.
Ghost Joke 63
What do ghosts like about riding horses? Ghoulloping.
Ghost Joke 64
When do ghosts usually appear? Just before someone screams.
Ghost Joke 65
What do you call a ghost in a torn sheet? A holy terror.
Ghost Joke 66
What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother’s Day? A booquet of flowers.
Ghost Joke 67
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Dayscare centers
Ghost Joke 68
What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?- They boo-kle their seatbelts