Hair And Bald Joke 1
A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes the client asks in garbled speech. “And what if I swallow it?” “No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does.”
Hair And Bald Joke 2
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair. “I m goin to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I ll be back in a few minutes.” When the boy’s haircut was completed and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.” “That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, Come on, son, we re gonna get a free haircut! ‘
Hair And Bald Joke 3
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome. He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, “Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You re crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?” “We re taking TWA,” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “TWA?” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?” “We ll be at the downtown International Marriott.” “That dump! That’s the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they re overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?” “We re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the barber. “You and a million other people trying to see him. He
Hair And Bald Joke 4
A little girl climbed into her grandfather’s lap and studied his white, balding head. She ran her fingers along the deep wrinkles and road mapped his face and neck. “Did god make you?”, she asked. “yes” he answered. “did god makeme, to?” she wondered. “yes”, he replied. “well, she shrugged, “don’t you think he’s doing a better job now than he used to?”
Hair And Bald Joke 5
two mates at a pub having a beer when the bald one starts complaining about being bald. the other guy says to have a transplant operation.the bald guy says he cant afford it.so his mate says to go and have some rabbits tattooed on his head. The bald guy says how will that help? His mate says well from a distance they will look like hares.(hairs)
Hair And Bald Joke 6
Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, “No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can’t hide it with that. Try again.” So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, “No, no. I can’t wear that. It will make people notice my head.” Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, “Here. Just take this.” Confused, the man says, “What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?” Smiling, the shop owner says, “Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you re a caramel apple.”
Hair And Bald Joke 7
Your so bald, I can see what your thinking.
Hair And Bald Joke 8
The Sunday School teacher asked if any of the children’s parents had quoted from the Bible in the past week. Little Timmy paused, but then spoke up, “My daddy doesn’t have any hair on his head. Daddy says that God put hair on everything that he was ashamed of.”
Hair And Bald Joke 9
After accepting an invitation to dance with a rather prematurely balding man a young woman wants to lighten the mood and says, “Honey, God was good to you, gave you a handsome face and room for another one.”
Hair And Bald Joke 10
YOUR SO BALD THAT WHEN YOU WHERE A TURTLENECK YOU LOOK LIKE A ROLL ON DEODORANT.
Hair And Bald Joke 11
a guy was teased everywhere of his totally noticably bald head! Afta goin thru yrs of this, he decided that he should say sumthin about it! so he stood up on2 the tallest statue and shouted 4 everyone 2 hear: I AM NOT BALD, ITS JUST THAT IM TALLER THAN MY HAIR!
Hair And Bald Joke 12
Your head is sooooo bald I mistook you for a green rabbit.
Hair And Bald Joke 13
I had a dream you were a tire last night. I woke up and you were bald.
Hair And Bald Joke 14
Your so bald your bald
Hair And Bald Joke 15
A cowboy walked into a barber shop, sat on the barber’s chair and said, “I ll have a shave and a shoe shine.” The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, “Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room.” She replied, “I m married and my husband wouldn’t like that. The cowboy said, “Tell him your working overtime and I ll pay you the difference.” She said, “You tell him. He is the one shaving you.”
Hair And Bald Joke 16
First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn’t turn a hair! Second boy: I m not surprised – your dad’s bald!
Hair And Bald Joke 17
What do you call an English teacher, five feet tall, covered from head to toe in boils and totally bald? Sir!
Hair And Bald Joke 18
Look at that bald man over there. It’s the first time I’ve seen a parting with ears.
Hair And Bald Joke 19
America’s oldest lady was 115 years old today, and she hasn’t got a grey hair on her head. How come? She’s completely bald.
Hair And Bald Joke 20
What’s your dad getting for Christmas? Bald and fat.
Hair And Bald Joke 21
Doctor, doctor, can you give me something for my baldness? How about a few pounds of pig manure? Will that cure my baldness? No, but with that on your head no one will come near enough to notice you re bald.
Hair And Bald Joke 22
Why do bald-headed men never use keys? Because they’ve lost their locks.
Hair And Bald Joke 23
Why do barbers make good drivers? Because they know all the short cuts.
Hair And Bald Joke 24
A man sitting in a barber’s chair noticed that the barber’s hands were very dirty. When he commented on this, the barber explained, “Yes, sir, no one’s been in for a shampoo yet.”
Hair And Bald Joke 25
A punk walked into a barber’s shop and sat in an empty chair. “Haircut, sir?” asked the barber. “No, just change the oil, please!”
Hair And Bald Joke 26
How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right – shave my head.
Hair And Bald Joke 27
What’s a barber’s favourite kind of holiday? Cruising on a clipper.
Hair And Bald Joke 28
Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor.
Hair And Bald Joke 29
Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir. Customer: I m not surprised – hurry up, will you?
Hair And Bald Joke 30
Barber: And how old are you, little man? Fred: Eight. Barber: And do you want a haircut? Fred: Well, I certainly didn’t come in for a shave!
Hair And Bald Joke 31
My barber is a specialist in road map shaves. How come? When he’s finished, your face is full of short cuts.
Hair And Bald Joke 32
Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in? Customer: No. Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.
Hair And Bald Joke 33
Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in ? Yes, here is a paper bag !
Hair And Bald Joke 34
Why did the bald man go outside ? To get some fresh hair !
Hair And Bald Joke 35
When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet ? When your bald !
Hair And Bald Joke 36
Janet came home from school and asked her mother if the aerosol spray in the kitchen was hair lacquer. “No,” said Mom. “It’s glue.” “I thought so,” said Janet. “I wondered why I couldn’t get my hat off today.”
Hair And Bald Joke 37
Teacher: I see you don’t cut your hair any longer. Fred: No sir, I cut it shorter.
Hair And Bald Joke 38
Fred: Betty has lovely long red hair all down her back. Harry: Pity it’s not on her head!
Hair And Bald Joke 39
Is that your face or are you wearing your hair back to front today?
Hair And Bald Joke 40
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser with a werewolf? A monster with an all-over perm.
Hair And Bald Joke 41
Customer: Couldn’t you see I was going bald? Barber: No, the shine from your head blinded me.
Hair And Bald Joke 42
Customer: Why did you take off so much hair? Barber: I didn t, nature beat me to it.
Hair And Bald Joke 43
Customer: Why doesn’t my hairline look good? Barber: It’s on the same old head.
Hair And Bald Joke 44
Customer: Why is my hairline receding? Barber: It’s not. Your scalp is advancing.
Hair And Bald Joke 45
Karen: Have you noticed that Daddy is getting taller ? Sharon: No, why ? Karen: His head is sticking through his hair.
Hair And Bald Joke 46
Who never gets his hair wet in the shower? A bald man.
Hair And Bald Joke 47
What do you call a high-priced barber shop? A clip joint.
Hair And Bald Joke 48
For what person do all men take off their hats? The barber.
Hair And Bald Joke 49
If the Pilgrims came over on the Mayflower, how did the barbers arrive? On clipper ships.
Hair And Bald Joke 50
How can you avoid falling hair? Get out of the way.
Hair And Bald Joke 51
Why was the lady’s hair angry? Because she was always teasing it.
Hair And Bald Joke 52
Why did the bald man put a rabbit on his head? Because he wanted a head of hare (hair).
Hair And Bald Joke 53
What should you buy if your hair falls out ? A good vacuum cleaner !
Hair And Bald Joke 54
What kind of hair do oceans have ? Wavy !
Hair And Bald Joke 55
I want a hair cut please. Certainly, which one !
Hair And Bald Joke 56
What do you call a pen with no hair ? A bald point !
Hair And Bald Joke 57
What do you call a policeman with blonde hair ? A fair cop !
Hair And Bald Joke 58
What do you get if you cross a wireless with a hairdresser ? Radio waves !
Hair And Bald Joke 59
What do you get if you cross a hairdresser and a bucket of cement ? Permanent waves !
Hair And Bald Joke 60
How does a barber make phone calls? He cuts them short.
Hair And Bald Joke 61
What side of a monster has more hair ? The outside !
Hair And Bald Joke 62
Knock Knock Who’s there ! Barber ! Barber who ? Barberd wire !
Hair And Bald Joke 63
Why do polo bears like bald men ? Because they have a great, white, bear place !
Hair And Bald Joke 64
What do you call a proton with big hair? A froton.
Hair And Bald Joke 65
A guy admired the hair of three girls. He walked by one and asked, “How d you get such lovely blonde hair” Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, “It’s natural.” The guy walked by the second girl and asked, “How d you get such pretty brown hair?” Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, “It’s natural.” Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, “How d you get such cool green hair?” Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, “It’s natural.”
Hair And Bald Joke 66
Q: Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? A: It matches their mustaches.
Hair And Bald Joke 67
A woman was cutting her husband’s thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack. She ofered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities. “It has more vitamin C than an orange,” she remarked. “And more hair than Dad,” added their son.
Hair And Bald Joke 68
A guy walks in to the Barbershop. Barber says, “What will it be today?” Guy says, “well I want it going with my waves on top, faded on one side, plug the other, and just make it all out of shape and messed up.” Barber says, “Now why in the world do you want your hair cut like that.” Guy says, “That’s how you cut it last time”
Hair And Bald Joke 69
There are three ways a man wears his hair – parted- unparted or departed