Pig Joke 1
Why did the pig go to the casino ? To play the slop machine !
Pig Joke 2
What do you call a pig with three eyes? …A piiig
Pig Joke 3
A city child came running into the farmhouse. “No wonder that mama pig is so big,” she yelled. “There’s a bunch of little pigs out there blowing her up!”
Pig Joke 4
A pig’s favorite movie: The Monster That Ate New York.
Pig Joke 5
All our pigs are learning karate. Oh, I don’t believe that No? Well, just watch out for their chops.
Pig Joke 6
Did you hear about the pig who opened a pawn shop? He called it “Ham Hocks”.
Pig Joke 7
Did you hear about the pig who tried to start a hot-air balloon business? He couldn’t get it off the ground. .
Pig Joke 8
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for mother’s day? What did they do? They threw a sowprize party.
Pig Joke 9
Did you hear about the pig’s vacation? They had a wonderful time at Yellowstone National Park. They dressed up as bears and raided all the garbage cans.
Pig Joke 10
Did you hear about the pigs who took up motorcycling? They wanted to catch bugs with their teeth.
Pig Joke 11
Did you hear of the pig who began hiding garbage In November? She wanted to do her Christmas slopping early.
Pig Joke 12
Did you hear the story about the razorback hog? It’s pretty dull.
Pig Joke 13
Do pigs like Backgammon? No, they prefer their backs scratched.
Pig Joke 14
Doctor, doctor, I’ve got a little sty. Then you d better buy a little pig.
Pig Joke 15
FARMER: Who raided my vegetable patch? PIGLET: Beets me!
Pig Joke 16
FIRST PIGLET: How do you know your boyfriend loves you? SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.
Pig Joke 17
Have you heard about the pig who took up disco dancing? He liked to swing his weight around.
Pig Joke 18
How can you recognize a Gnome Pig? They re the ones with the little red hats.
Pig Joke 19
How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny? By the egg on its face.
Pig Joke 20
How did the little pig win at Monopoly? He built hotels on Pork Place.
Pig Joke 21
How do you fit more pigs on your farm? Build a sty-scraper!
Pig Joke 22
How do you get your pigs to sleep at night? No problem. Everyone here goes to bed with the chickens. You must have a very large chicken house.
Pig Joke 23
How do you take a pig to hospital? By hambulance!
Pig Joke 24
How does a mama pig put her piglets to sleep? She reads them pig tales.
Pig Joke 25
How does a pig write home? With a pig pen.
Pig Joke 26
I told you not to let those pigs In my office. Now, look What’s happened. They’ve eaten all the dates off my calendar!
Pig Joke 27
If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of? Any party where there’s lots of food.
Pig Joke 28
If you drop this book in a pig pen, what should you do? Take the words out of their mouths.
Pig Joke 29
Is it true the pigs went over Niagara Falls in a barrel? No, that story’s just a lot of hogwash.
Pig Joke 30
Is lunch the favorite subject of piglets? No, it’s theatre. They love to ham It up and hog all the attention.
Pig Joke 31
Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It’s called a garbage compactor.
Pig Joke 32
Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It’s called a garbage compactor.
Pig Joke 33
MOTHER PIG: What did you learn in school today? FIRST PIGLET: Oink! Oink! SECOND PIGLET: Oink! Oink! THIRD PIGLET: Woof! Woof! MOTHER PIG: What? THIRD PIGLET: I m taking a foreign language.
Pig Joke 34
Name the pig’s favorite Shakespeare play. Hamlet.
Pig Joke 35
Pigs don’t look very smart to me. Sure, they are. You ever see a sow try to make a silk purse out of a farmer’s ear?
Pig Joke 36
Pig’s explanation for the creation of the Universe: The Pig Bang Theory.
Pig Joke 37
SOW: Would you like a nice cake with three candles for your party? PIGLET: I d rather have three cakes and one candle.
Pig Joke 38
Sports fad invented by pigs: Mud wrestling.
Pig Joke 39
The hog was a failure as a TV talk show host What happened? He turned out to be a big boar.
Pig Joke 40
The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.
Pig Joke 41
Two pigs robbed a bank. Why were they caught so quickly? They squealed on each other.
Pig Joke 42
What did the fat pig say when the farmer dumped corn mash into the trough? “I m afraid that’s all going to waist.”
Pig Joke 43
What did the mama pig say to her bad little piglet? “Behave or Frankenswine will get you.”
Pig Joke 44
What did the mama pig say when junior pig bought a basket of wormy apples? “Don’t tell the farmer. He might charge us extra.”
Pig Joke 45
What did the pig do when a beetle landed in his feed trough? He ate it quickly, before the others could ask him to share.
Pig Joke 46
What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him? “Heavy!”
Pig Joke 47
What did the pig say when it found a fly in its soup? “Yum Yum.”
Pig Joke 48
What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? “That’s the end of me!”
Pig Joke 49
What do hip pigs call their ladies? Fine swine.
Pig Joke 50
What do little piglets do on a Saturday night? Have a pigjama party!
Pig Joke 51
What do little pigs want to be when they grow up? Garbage collectors.
Pig Joke 52
What do piggys take when they are sick? Pigicillin!
Pig Joke 53
What do pigs do on nice afternoons? They go on pignics.
Pig Joke 54
What do pigs drive? Pig-up trucks!
Pig Joke 55
What do pigs like with chow mein? Sooey sauce.
Pig Joke 56
What do you call a crafty pig? CunningHam
Pig Joke 57
What do you call a lady pig planting seeds? A sow sow.
Pig Joke 58
What do you call a pig in a steel foundry? A pig pig.
Pig Joke 59
What do you call a pig that took a plane? Swine flu!
Pig Joke 60
What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!
Pig Joke 61
What do you call a pig who overacts? A ham ham.
Pig Joke 62
What do you call a pig with good table manners? Sick.
Pig Joke 63
What do you call a pig with no clothes on? Streaky bacon!
Pig Joke 64
What do you call a pig with no legs? A groundhog!
Pig Joke 65
What do you call a pig with the flu? A swine swine.
Pig Joke 66
What do you call an oversize motorcycle for pigs? A hog hog.
Pig Joke 67
What do you call pigs in a demolition derby? Crashing boars.
Pig Joke 68
What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs? A pig tail!
Pig Joke 69
What do you do for a pig with sore muscles? Rub him with oinkment.
Pig Joke 70
What do you get when you cross a pig with a canary? I don’t know, but when it sits on your electric wire and sings, all your lights go out
Pig Joke 71
What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant? A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.
Pig Joke 72
What do you give a sick pig? Oinkment!
Pig Joke 73
What do you say to a naked pig? “I never sausage a body.”
Pig Joke 74
What does a pig use to write his term papers with? Pen and Oink!
Pig Joke 75
What goes “knio, knio?” A backward pig.
Pig Joke 76
What instrument do piggys play in a band? Pigcussion!
Pig Joke 77
What is a pigs favourite ballet? Swine Lake!
Pig Joke 78
What is Chuck Norris “best karate move”? Pork Chop!
Pig Joke 79
What is the pig’s favorite musical instrument? The piggalo (piccalo).
Pig Joke 80
What kind of bread do pig ladles make in the Yukon? Sow-r dough bread.
Pig Joke 81
What kind of furniture do pigs like best? Overstuffed.
Pig Joke 82
What kind of pig do sows dislike? Male Chauvinist Pigs.
Pig Joke 83
What position does the pig play in football? Loinback.
Pig Joke 84
What should you say to a pig on roller skates? Don’t say anything. Just get out of the way.
Pig Joke 85
What soft drink do pigs like best? Root beer.
Pig Joke 86
What song do pigs sing on New Year’s Eve? Auld Lang Swine.
Pig Joke 87
What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur? Sir Lunchalot.
Pig Joke 88
What world athletic sporting event is held every four years? The Olympigs!
Pig Joke 89
What would a pig name a chain of food stores? “Stop “N Slop Markets”
Pig Joke 90
What would happen if pigs went on strike? They d form pigget lines.
Pig Joke 91
What would happen if pigs could fly? Bacon would go up!
Pig Joke 92
What’s that pig doing in the middle of the road with a red light on its head? Didn’t you tell me to put out a stop swine?
Pig Joke 93
When is a pig an ecologist? When he recycles garbage into ham.
Pig Joke 94
When pigs get a toothache, who do they see? Painless Porker.
Pig Joke 95
When pigs have a party, who jumps out of the cake? Nobody. The pigs all jump in.
Pig Joke 96
Where did the piglets study their ABC s? At a school for higher loining.
Pig Joke 97
Where do bad pigs go? They get sent to the pen.
Pig Joke 98
Where do retired pigs go for warm weather? The tropigs!
Pig Joke 99
Where does a woodsman keep his pigs? In his hog cabin!
Pig Joke 100
Where is the most open green space in New York City? Central Pork
Pig Joke 101
Which of these jokes do the pigs like best? The corniest ones.
Pig Joke 102
Who is the greatest painter of this century? Pigcasso!
Pig Joke 103
Who sends flowers on Valentines Day? Cupigs!
Pig Joke 104
Why are pigs such early risers? Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?
Pig Joke 105
Why are pigs such great football fans? They re always rooting.
Pig Joke 106
Why are there so many piggy banks? Pigs don’t like to hide their money in the mattress.
Pig Joke 107
Why can’t there be a Santa Pig? Pigs don’t fit in chimneys.
Pig Joke 108
Why couldn’t the pig pay his bill? He was a little shoat.
Pig Joke 109
Why do pigs have flat snouts? From running in to trees.
Pig Joke 110
Why did the big pig want to go on stage? There was a lot of ham in him.
Pig Joke 111
Why did the little pig hide the soap? He heard the farmer yell, “Hogwash!”
Pig Joke 112
Why did the little pig try to join the Navy? He loved to sing, “Oinkers Aweight”
Pig Joke 113
Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog? Because he was such a sloppy dresser.
Pig Joke 114
Why did the pig go to the casino? To play the slop machine!
Pig Joke 115
Why did the pig join a muscle-building class? He thought “pumping iron” was a new juice dispenser.
Pig Joke 116
Why did the pig join the Army? He heard the food was a mess.
Pig Joke 117
Why did the pig run away from the pig sty? He felt that the other pigs were taking him for grunted.
Pig Joke 118
Why did the pig wear yellow coveralls? He split a seam in his blue ones.
Pig Joke 119
Why did the piglets do badly in school? They were all slow loiners.
Pig Joke 120
Why did the piglets get in trouble in their biology class? They ate all the specimens.
Pig Joke 121
Why did the piglets get in trouble in their stained glass class? They stained it with mud.
Pig Joke 122
Why did the pigs paint their hoofs green? It was Saint Patrick’s Day.
Pig Joke 123
Why did the spotted pigs run away? They thought the traveling salesman told the farmer to put his name on the dotted swine.
Pig Joke 124
Why didn’t the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his own? He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Blonic Woman.
Pig Joke 125
Why didn’t the piglets listen to the teacher pig? Because he was an old boar.
Pig Joke 126
Why didn’t the pigs eat the rotten eggs in their feed trough? They were saving the best for last.
Pig Joke 127
Why do pigs like February 14th? They get lots of Valenswines.
Pig Joke 128
Why do pigs love Halloween? There’s lots of hogsgobblin.
Pig Joke 129
Why do pigs run into trees? To shake out the alligators. I’ve never seen an alligator In a tree. That’s because the pigs do such a good job.
Pig Joke 130
Why doesn’t Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig? Pigs don’t have red noses.
Pig Joke 131
Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny? Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.
Pig Joke 132
Why was the pig unhappy in the Minors? Because he wants to play in the Pig Leagues.
Pig Joke 133
Why is the cook worried about catching his runaway pig? He knows a little ham goes a long way.
Pig Joke 134
Why is your dad chasing those pigs through the garden? We re raising mashed potatoes.
Pig Joke 135
Why isn’t there a Superpig? It’s too hard for a pig to change clothes in a telephone booth.
Pig Joke 136
Why should you never invite a pig to join your tug-of-war team? Pigs want to be pulled through the mudhole.
Pig Joke 137
Why won’t pigs take up jogging? They don’t like to get that far from the table.
Pig Joke 138
Why won’t the witch let the traveling pig actors into her gingerbread cottage? She’s afraid they ll bring down the house.
Pig Joke 139
Why wouldn’t the bird let her chicks go near the pig pen? She didn’t want the pigs eating shredded tweet.
Pig Joke 140
Why wouldn’t the piglet’s mother let her read romantic novels? She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.
Pig Joke 141
Why wouldn’t the sow let her piglets play with toads? She didn’t want them to grow into wart hogs.
Pig Joke 142
What did the pig say when he found a line of ants in his trough? “Mmm. Canapes.”
Pig Joke 143
What are the pigs warned to look out for in New York? Pigpockets.
Pig Joke 144
Why was the pig happy when reviewers criticized his story? Because they called it garbage.
Pig Joke 145
Why did the pig send his story to New York? He wanted to be published on Pork Avenue.
Pig Joke 146
What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine? Boaris Karloff.
Pig Joke 147
What did the pig call a manuscript? A shoat story.
Pig Joke 148
What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ? A swine gut !
Pig Joke 149
What kind of tie does a pig wear ? Pig’s tie !
Pig Joke 150
Why do pigs never recover from illness ? Because you have to kill them before you cure them !
Pig Joke 151
What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat? A crashing bore.
Pig Joke 152
The teacher was furious with her son. “Just because you’ve been put in my class, there’s no need to think you can take liberties. You re a pig.” The boy said nothing. “Well! Do you know what a pig is?” “Yes, Mom,” said the boy. “The offspring of a swine.”
Pig Joke 153
Who do they get for Babe the pig’s dangerous movie scenes? A stunt ham.