Snake Joke 1
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned? . Then the second Snake says “Why do you ask?” The 1st one replies: “I just bit my lip!”
Snake Joke 2
A old snake goes to see his Doctor. “Doc, I need something for my eyes…can’t see well these days”. The Doc fixes him up with a pair of glasses and tells him to return in 2 weeks. The snake comes back in 2 weeks and tells the doctor he’s very depressed. Doc says, “What’s the problem…didn’t the glasses help you?” “The glasses are fine doc, I just discovered I’ve been living with a water hose the past 2 years!”
Snake Joke 3
Q: What kind of snake is good at math? A: An adder.
Snake Joke 4
What do you get if you cross a snake with a hotdog? A fangfurther.
Snake Joke 5
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he’s finished.
Snake Joke 6
What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ? A boa constructor !
Snake Joke 7
What’s a snake’s favourite food ? Hiss Cakes !
Snake Joke 8
Why wouldn’t the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !
Snake Joke 9
What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ? Thanks, I ll just have a sliver !
Snake Joke 10
What is another word for a python ? A mega-bite !
Snake Joke 11
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ? A boar constrictor !
Snake Joke 12
What’s a snakes favourite TV program ? Monty Python!
Snake Joke 13
What snakes are good at sums ? Adders !
Snake Joke 14
Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ? Someone else’s !
Snake Joke 15
What is a snakes favourite opera ? Wriggletto !
Snake Joke 16
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent ? A snake in the brass !
Snake Joke 17
What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ? A feather boa !sna
Snake Joke 18
Have you heard about the slippery eel ? Didn’t think so, you wouldn’t be able to grasp it !sna
Snake Joke 19
Why can’t you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !
Snake Joke 20
What’s a snakes favourite dance ? Snake, rattle & roll !
Snake Joke 21
What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ? Sleep in the wardrobe !
Snake Joke 22
What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ? A fangfurter !sna
Snake Joke 23
What’s a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba !
Snake Joke 24
What did one snake say to another ? Hiss off !
Snake Joke 25
Why did the two boa constrictors get married ? Because they had a crush on each other !sna
Snake Joke 26
What’s the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ? You can make a pet out of a snake !
Snake Joke 27
What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ? A viper !
Snake Joke 28
Why are snakes hard to fool ? They have no legs to pull !
Snake Joke 29
What’s a python’s favourite pop group ? Squeeze !
Snake Joke 30
What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ? Poison by Christian Dior !
Snake Joke 31
Why did the viper want to become a python ? He got the coiling !
Snake Joke 32
What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ? Snakes and Larders !sna
Snake Joke 33
What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ? A snake charmer !
Snake Joke 34
What do most people do when they see a python ? They re-coil !
Snake Joke 35
What subject are snakes good at school ? Hiss-tory !
Snake Joke 36
What did the snake say to the cornered rat ? Hiss is the end of the line for you !
Snake Joke 37
What do snakes have on their bath towels ? Hiss and Hers !
Snake Joke 38
What do you call a snake that informs the police ? A grass snake !
Snake Joke 39
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ? Addercadabra and abradacobra !
Snake Joke 40
What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ? Stop crying and viper your nose !
Snake Joke 41
What’s the best thing about deadly snakes ? They’ve got poisonality !
Snake Joke 42
Why did the python do national service ? He was coiled up !
Snake Joke 43
What’s a snakes favourite flower ? Coily-flowers !
Snake Joke 44
What song to snakes like to sing ? Viva Aspana !
Snake Joke 45
What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ? He died in agony !
Snake Joke 46
Why did the viper, viper nose ? Because the adder, adder hankerchief !
Snake Joke 47
What did the snake say when another asked him the time ? Don’t asp me !
Snake Joke 48
What do you give a sick snake ? Asp-rin !
Snake Joke 49
What do you call a snake who works for the governement ? A civil serpent !
Snake Joke 50
What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ? Fang letters !
Snake Joke 51
What’s long, green and goes hith ? A snake with a lisp !
Snake Joke 52
So glad to meet you said the Hindu politely ? “Charmed I m sure “, replied the snake !
Snake Joke 53
What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ? A bouncing baby boa !
Snake Joke 54
Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said “Go forth and multiply” ? They couldn t, they were adders !
Snake Joke 55
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I m a python. Oh you can’t get round me like that, you know.
Snake Joke 56
What do you get if you cross a glow-worm with a python? A twenty-foot-long strip-light that can squeeze you to death.
Snake Joke 57
Why did the viper want to become a python? He got the coiling.
Snake Joke 58
What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell? Addercadabra and abradacobra.
Snake Joke 59
Did you hear about the stupid snake? He lost his skin.
Snake Joke 60
What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ? Chimney Cricket !
Snake Joke 61
Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:( A jump rope )”