What is the similarity between a shrimp and a man?
You can enjoy all but the head.
What is the similarity between a microwave oven and a man?
They both get hot in 15 seconds.
Why can’t a man be both handsome and intelligent?
Because that would make him a woman.
Why is a man’s brain the size of a peanut?
Because it is swollen.
Why are batteries better than men?
Batteries have at least one positive end.
Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because sperm are male and they refuse to ask for directions.
Why are men like the letter Q?
Because it is a big fat zero with a small protrusion.
Why do women not get married as often these days?
Because they would rather have bacon in the fridge than a pig in the living room.
What is the similarity between a video recorder and a man?
They go forwards, backwards, forwards, backwards, stop and eject.
Why is the male intelligence worth more than the female?
It is rarer.
Why do men exist?
Who else is going to mow the lawn.
What do you call an attractive intelligent and sensitive man?
What do you never want to hear while having good sex?
Honey, I am home!
Why don’t men go through menopause?
They never left puberty.
How do you know that a man is lying?
His lips are moving.